The Sage.

The midlife quiz from the Modern Elder Academy revealed two paths for my midlife. Last week, we discussed the Phoenix. This week, I reflect on the Sage, my second path. If you do the quiz, you will find eight potential paths one can follow in midlife, and the quiz will highlight your particular one. I got two. Maybe some of us have too much going on to fit in one box only, hehe.

The Sage path tells me that I have earned my wisdom, and it’s now time to live from it. I do agree. I’ve learned lessons from my midlife transition. My inner compass is guiding me more now. I know what I’m here for, and it’s now easier for me to know what to say yes to and what to pass by. Working on my personal mission statement remains a highlight of the Halftime Program I did in my mid-forties: “To use my speaking and influence to positively impact people’s lives and communities.”

I now use my mission statement as a litmus test for the opportunities that come my way. If I’m invited to an engagement, I run it by my personal mission statement. If they are aligned, then it’s confirmation that I should proceed. If it contradicts or clashes, then that’s a sign that it’s not a go.

Folks, when you have a mission statement that guides you, it’s easier to differentiate between what’s real and what’s noise. What’s your guiding light in words? Ebu share if you have one; if not, I’m happy to help you construct one. The quiz’s inner compass section also tells me that if you are a sage, you will tend to seek stillness and simplicity. That has been me in midlife: looking for every chance to escape and be alone. Good things have come out of it, like my nature photography—being in the bush for a week and loving it.

Now, midlife can be confusing for our near and dear ones. I recall a rela getting concerned that I might be depressed because I wanted to be alone, yet I’m known to be the life of the party—an extrovert who wants to stay away from people. I don’t blame them. Thankfully, in midlife, we play to ourselves as the audience, not so much other people aswe did previously. We are not withdrawing; we are going deeper. I like that analogy from the sage. That said, this same trait can be a blind spot for us. We risk disconnecting when we isolate ourselves too much. So find your balance, folks.

Sages also feel underutilised. That’s something I struggled with for a long time in my forties. After the midlife furnace cooked me (often feels like it burnt me, hehe), I tend to see more than meets the eye. I’m now able to notice folks at halftime who are at a crossroads and searching for a route to their next season. Strangely, most of them don’t want to show their confusion or lack of direction. They cover it up with a screensaver of ‘having it all together.’ Kumbe deep down they are clueless and are shouting for help, but in mute. It’s frustratingto be around folks with high fevers from their transitions, and yet I have the paracetamol to take care of that. I have often offered it, but for some reason, they remain in denial and reject the dawa I’m offering. Maybe I need to communicate better, but I’m puzzled as to why many of us are terrified to face an ending. I hope this feeling of being underutilised will end soon.

Another challenge sages have is that we are reluctant to self-promote. We downplay our gifts a lot and hesitate to claim our space. People have often accused me of that, and it’s something I need to learn to embrace. It does feel awkward and almost like bragging.

It reminds me of a quote I like that reads, “The problem with the world is that stupid people are full of confidence, yet the smart ones doubt themselves.” My fellow sages, maybe we should allow a little stupidity. Midlife has earned us our stripes, so let’s display them with confidence and help more people with our gifts, counsel and experience.

We are natural mentors, and that’s a strength. People tend to trust us because we offer our wisdom without ego. I particularly like that part. We are also lifelong learners and always seek to grow from the inside out. A sign that your midlife season is going well is when you are always learning something new. So, what new thing are you learning currently, folks?

Another strength that I strongly agreed with is that, as a sage, we tend to see patterns that others miss and connect the dots easily because we are insightful and intuitive. I often can pick up on someone’s struggle from how they talk or behave, especially if it’s a transition thing. It seems to have taken half my life to get deep, hehe. But it’s a good skill to have as a coach, so it came at the right time.

To thrive in midlife as sages, we need to balance solitude with conscious connection. Our wisdom is needed, so we just need to continuously explore where it’s required most and how best to deliver our paracetamol. We can enhance that by saying yes to platforms where we share our insights with humility. I like that ego has been edged out here. We cannot transition into a life of significance while remaining egoistic and proud.

Let me leave a few more gems so that you all can do the quiz and discover much more. For all you sages, our mantra is:

My presence is powerful. My wisdom is enough.