I’m currently reading Level Up by Rob Dial. It’s the subtitle—“Get focused, stop procrastinating, upgrade your life”— that got my attention. The first chapter is about fear, and Rob Dial says that none of it is real. There is primal fear and intellectual fear. Primal fear is driven by the need to survive. We react to danger to stay alive. When it’s dark outside, there might be a wild animal, so we stay indoors for fear of going out. We could say that’s ‘good fear’ because it helps us stay alive, though for us Kenyans it often works differently, hehe. We run toward the action even when it’s dangerous. After all, we have to be the ones with the breaking news, ama? Sadly, we’ve seen that curiosity can indeed be fatal.
Intellectual fears are not related to the fear of predators, physical death, or pain. Here, the predators move from the physical world to the mind. Many of us are haunted by the fear of rejection, failure, abandonment, being seen as a fraud (aka imposter syndrome), and even the fear of success. I believe we have all suffered or are currently suffering from one form of intellectual fear or another.
I have been battling procrastination for some time now, yet I consider myself a proactive guy. We often see ourselves differently from how others see us. I’ve become more aware of it after being called out by certain people in my life. According to the Johari Window model, a psychological tool created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham to improve self-awareness and interpersonal relationships, I’m sure I have blind spots—parts of me known to others that I am unaware of. I might also have parts unknown to both others and myself. I will need a strong torch to mulika into that room. We all have such dark rooms in our lives that we need to illuminate if we are to grow. And fear thrives in the dark.
Rob tells us that fear is a defence mechanism. He challenges us to embrace fear instead of trying to get rid of it. But how do we do that? How do we convert fear from an enemy into an ally? He says that 97% of our worries never materialise, so we effectively worry about a life that we will never live. That’s a waste of effort, mental energy, and even time. Starting to live life with a sense of urgency is one antidote to fear. We should adopt the fear of reaching the end of our lives and wishing we had done more. I hope that scares you enough to make a move, folks.
Imagine being so scared of failing to do the things you desire that you actually take action. Now that’s a good outcome of fear. Is there a book you should have written, but you’re scared that no one will read it? Wouldn’t you feel much better on your last day on Earth knowing you left some pages of wisdom behind, rather than exiting with your book still inside you? After all, no one will need to read your book in the next life. Is there a business idea, a podcast, a home in shags project, or a new line of work that you have been wanting to start, but are afraid might fail?
Rob tells us, “Life is too short to spend it scared, angry, anxious, sad, worried, or bogged down with negative emotions.” This may sound simple, but it takes effort to actualise because every fear is rooted in the brain trying to avoid future pain, that is, primal fear. The brain cannot differentiate between primal and intellectual fear, so we have to do the work to disentangle ourselves from unfounded fears.
And how do we do that? Action. By taking action. If we do nothing, the consequences of inaction will catch up with us, and that will be painful. Rob advises that the only thing we can do to avoid that pain is to take action now toward the future we want. One of the biggest injustices we do to ourselves is settling after a fair measure of success. It’s called the comfort zone. I have written about it numerous times on this blog, yet I find myself pulled to it occasionally. Is it a case of preaching water and drinking wine, hehe? I hope not.
We must stay on top of this struggle, lest we be dragged into the comfort zone and fall asleep there. Now that would be tragic. Nothing grows in a comfort zone. Folks, could you be in a comfort zone and be completely unaware of it? Ask those around you who know you well. They can confirm it or not. If that is the case, start pushing yourself a little at a time to get out of it. For me, I’ve recently accepted a role in a business I’m associated with—a position I have long felt unprepared and unqualified for. I was using this to block my mind, claiming it was beyond my area of expertise (read: comfort zone) as an excuse not to engage. It’s been uncomfortable, but I’m determined to break out of that rut, face the fear, and give it a shot. I feel I’m fumbling, but I’ll stay on.
To keep me going, I’m drawing a picture of what success will look like a year from now, or at the end of this year. I’m seeing the business doing better, everyone in it happier, and, of course, the bottom line having a few extra zeros and commas hehe. Pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones is how we grow and loosen the grip that fear has on us. Will Smith put it well: ‘God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear.’
The best things in life are free, as the popular song goes, but it seems we have to pay a hidden price: overcoming our fear to access them. I’m determined to ‘die empty’ by finishing the assignment Sir God gave me on this Earth. I’ll keep trying or die trying. And why shouldn’t you, folks? What are you afraid of? And how can you get over it? Don’t let fear stop you. Remember, it’s imaginary most of the time. Freedom lives on the other side of fear. Feel the fear and do your thing anyway. That’s the definition of courage, after all.