Do It Afraid.

Being a parent gives us authority over the lives of our small people. At least when they are under our roof. Parenting is a contact sport and has no dry run. You learn on the job. So failure or feeling inadequate is an occupational hazard. I have always desired to be a dad and when it happened my life changed forever. I wasn’t fearful as my baby sharks grew up but it seems to be catching up with me now.

We have heard horror stories about teens taking their lives after disagreeing with their parents or when the landmine that is social media gets the better of them. The world has become a scary place for our young people and adults too. Many of us are struggling to cope with life’s demands. Mummy shark and I (plus many other parents) are working daily on instilling the fear (and love) of God in them hoping that when they leave our nest they will have that internal guiding compass that will lead to good decision-making so that they do not waste their lives.

There are no guarantees here so we do the best we can and leave the rest to the Almighty. There is a saying in my mother tongue that depicts how out of control we are in determining how our totos lives turn out. It says that out of the same womb comes a preacher and a witch doctor. Extreme opposites. Our children’s destinies (and ours too) are out of our hands. But does that mean we are off the hook as far as making choices is concerned? Absolutely not. My brother recently posted a deep quote. He says, “ without God we cant. Without us God won’t”.

But why do so many of us fail to launch and live our best lives? Fear is the common culprit for most. We are afraid of taking that leap lest we fail. This has been a big one for me especially in my 40s when I felt ill-equipped to provide. A friend of mine is currently scared to give her business another go lest she fails. Another friend has been afraid to tell her story yet she feels strongly that she needs to share her musings with others. Folks, we cannot die with the music inside of us. Fear doesn’t deserve that much clout in our lives. It’s overrated.

As long as we are alive fear will remain a part of our existence. We have to find a way of preventing it from freezing the magic that is inside of us. The antidote for this is just to feel the fear and do it anyway. Maybe we need to look for an ally who we can confront it with so that it loosens its grip on us. Sir God is a good candidate for that. I must admit from experience. He has often acted as a safety net when I leap without any guarantees. At the back of my mind, I know He will shikilia me if I fall even though I doubt him often.

The only way to be free from fear is to confront it or do it afraid. That’s the lesson I’m trying to pass on to my baby sharks when they come to me scared. It may be a small issue in my eyes but huge in theirs so I try to come to their level and be that safety net. Hopefully, that will give them the courage to confront their fear, knowing Mzee yuko hehe. I feel bad when I dismiss their fear at times and expect them subconsciously to react like an adult. As I mentioned earlier, I’m learning on the job how to be a good father.

Maybe when our kids watch us handling our fears with courage then they might imitate us. Some lessons are caught not taught. Perhaps then doing life while afraid can be brave and admirable. Are there things that you should be doing but fear is holding you back? Consider writing them down as your big hairy and audacious goals this year then give them a go. Writing them down and staring at them daily may give you the impetus to get started. Besides most of our fears never actually materialize.

I was happy when I stumbled upon my scared friend’s first post on Facebook last week. She has put herself out there. Though her voice was shaking, it sounded more authentic than fearful. Now, she can’t go back and someone will benefit from her stories. How cool is that? Once we put ourselves out there the universe takes notice and has no choice but to be our assistant. The other reason we should face our fears is that the alternative is always lousy. We remain trapped and are reduced to spectating as others take calculated risks and thrive.

Folks just like in parenting, this life is also not a rehearsal.  Who and what are you saving it for? Don’t waste it. Live it with courage, meaningfully, serving others, and remember to have fun along the way. I dread to imagine where I’d be today if I was still running my events business. You would be avoiding me as I would be miserable company. For me, the plan is to die empty. When I have given everything I was created to give.

So, do you, folks, by doing it afraid if necessary.