City Cousins.

Last week I managed to run away to the coast for a short RnR with my clan. My best man Andrew (who lives Majuu) came along with his family. Actually, it was more of us taking him to the coast hehe. This time of the year we receive an influx of what we call summer bunnies. Kenyans living abroad come back home in droves for their summer vacation. Maybe that’s our human version of the wildebeest migration we see at the Massai Mara reserve. Either way, it was a timely short break to recharge.

Before we took this holiday Google reminded me of a day in 2019. I had taken a photo of my baby sharks enjoying a camel ride on the beach together with Andrew’s kids. Now four years later on the day, we were making the trip to Mombasa again.

We booked the SGR as usual for the 10 p.m. train that gets to Mombasa at 3 a.m. Whoever introduced that night train deserves a promotion. It enables you to have a full day in Nairobi and a full day in Mombasa. Plus sleep comes easier usiku than traveling during the day for some of us.

My kids had been harping about it for two weeks before we left, telling everyone we met that we were going to Mombasa. It was in vain trying to ask them to nyamaza. Well in a sense I don’t blame them. My adult version is me unable to stay calm because I’m going for my photo safari to the Mara next week and I’m looking forward sana.

Once we got onto the train with our two families the kids settled in with their devices. These are digital natives and they socialize both in person and online with their friends. My son and I share a phone. I know. Don’t ask. There is a reason for that. So he’s on Snapchat and I’m not. I learned that there is a WhatsApp video equivalent on Snapchat in addition to making funny faces on that app which he really enjoys.

On the train, he was chatting animatedly with his pals as Andrew’s son watched. I overheard my boy’s friend ask who was next to him. My son proudly introduced Andrew’s son as his cousin. I found that cute and wondered why he’d say that. Well as Google reminded me we have been holidaying with Andrew and his family for a few years now. It has now become a routine and even we the parents look forward to every August with the same enthusiasm our children do. So maybe to my little man, a cousin is someone you make good memories with repeatedly.

I met Andrew in 1993 in our first year on campus and somehow a friendship began that extended to our parents and siblings. About 20 years ago he stood as my best man and so did I a few years later for him. Now our kids have become cousins. None of this was planned but now I feel we have to be more intentional in nurturing those bonds. Maybe one day in the future my boy will be his new cousin’s best man or vice versa. It’s a friendship that will go beyond our generation. At least that’s my prayer.

A parent always hopes that their children will form good, solid, and beneficial friendships. One way of doing that is by interacting with families that share similar values to yours. At least that sets the foundation when they are young but at some point, they will decide for themselves how to proceed and we can only wish they make the right turns. Even the Good Book tells us to teach a child in the way he should go and when they are older they will not depart from it. My add-on to that is, if and when they depart from the way, they will somehow return to it. The goal is to finish strong in this life.

The Good Book also tells us that some friends stick closer than a brother. I’m sure we all have friends who are as close as family or even closer. Those are relations that we keep close because they are like an open cheque that we can keep cashing throughout our lives. Of course, we also have to deposit into them and not just debit the account. It goes both ways. Be a friend to make a friend.

That trip has made me appreciate the value of childhood friendships. I’m blessed to be rich in that department. And I will do my part to support my kids to get a good number of those. One way to do that is by creating memories for them to act as the glue for future interactions. Kids unlike adults do not know how to pretend. They hang out with only those they enjoy being with. So our role as parents is just to bring the children together and let them do their magic and bond.

We live in a global village and now we have folks from one corner of the world befriending someone far away. In my parents’ time, close relations were heavily influenced by proximity but not any more. So get more good cousins folks. Life is more enjoyable that way. True riches are made of good cousins.