This is a special week. Both this blog and I are turning a year older. I’m choosing gratitude because if I don’t, I will start focusing on all the things I should have done by this big-ish age, hehe. In this life, we never really arrive, but we live as if there’s a podium finish waiting for us huko mbele. Not a good strategy. While having goals and working towards them is crucial, we should be mindful of the fact that life is what happens in the spaces between goals and targets.
Two years ago, when I graduated to the fifth floor, I declared that this decade would be my Fortune Fifties. My forties were furious, and I didn’t want to repeat that course kwanza for another ten years. It felt ten times harder than the sciences I struggled with at Lenana School. To be fair to my forties, though, I owe my second-half reinvention, and the person I have become, to that decade.
Growth is often uncomfortable because it stretches us. In midlife, the discomfort can be furious because we are dealing with so many unknowns. It’s like going through a furnace; however, the results are worthwhile, even when we come out smelling of smoke. In midlife transitions, you may see the flames ahead and feel the heat of the impending transition. And yes, it’s scary and uncertain, but I urge you not to turn back to a season that’s already over. Feel the fear and keep going anyway. Si that’s the definition of courage after all.
Step into the unknown, for that’s where the clues and direction for your next season lie. Unfortunately, you can’t outsource midlife transitions. You have to go through them, as messy as they may be. Even though they feel like they will last forever, a new and meaningful life awaits you on the other side. There are no guarantees in life, but taking a shot at a life of significance is well worth the try.
While I attended an online halftime session on Monday evening, some thoughts crystallized. A few insights stood out that emphasized that life resides in-between our goals and accomplishments. Often, we develop tunnel vision when working towards significant projects like a degree, mjengo, or even parenting. While these require a ton of consistent mental, emotional, and even physical effort, we shouldn’t forget to stay alive to the small pleasures of life that recharge us along the way.
One of the videos we watched in my halftime session was from a mzee who keeps a ‘Book of Days’. In it, he has recorded and filed feedback he has received from people he has helped over the years. I’m sure we all have folks who have thanked us for helping them, so that’s no big deal. What made this stand out for me is the way he has arranged and stored these compliments for more than ten years. That’s a level of organisation I currently lack, hehe.
Then, it hit me: I am celebrating almost a decade of writing my random musings here every Friday. This blog is my Book of Days! I was happy to unmute and declare that to my colleagues in the class, hehe, feeling very proud, kwanza. Based on the comments I get, my editor challenged me to consider that perhaps this is the very public service I felt destined for. I have often overlooked this weekly encouragement to my readers, waiting instead for some grand appointment to serve my country. That has proved elusive, and perhaps it is intended to force me to notice the weekly push we give each other from the stories we share.
Impact is daily, and we should seek to dispense it generously as we do life. Helping people ‘on the go’ is an effective strategy. That’s what loving extravagantly looks like: giving what we have to those in need, without expecting anything in return. And remember, it’s not extravagant if it’s earned.
Perhaps we struggle to live a life of significance because we view it as this big, dramatic shift to a whole new existence. One of the facilitators suggested that we should seek to infuse significance into everyday life. I loved the sound of that. As I celebrate another trip around the sun (how’s that related to birthdays, by the way? I see that often as people are posting those happy-birthday-to-me posts on Facebook), I’m motivated to live and dish out a daily dose of significance, however little.
We all have different ways of capturing stories of the lives we have touched along the way. For me, this blog has worked well on that front. What’s yours, folks? Remember, we need to give and receive flowers as we live because a grand flower exchange ceremony down the line is not guaranteed, unless, of course, it’s in one goodbye or another, which would then be too late.
Perhaps writing our own ‘Book of Days’ is how we’ll move from making a living to making a life. Those have been my reflections this week as I thank Sir God for yet another birthday. I want to focus more on making a life as I grow older. Chances are that when I do that well, making a living will follow. We end up being paid for our wisdom and generosity. As one of the men in my halftime class noted, funds come from friends. So making a life and a living can go hand in hand.
As I embark on climbing the mountain of my Fortune Fifties (and as we all climb our various life mountains), may we remember the words of Andy Rooney, “Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occur while we are climbing it.”
Today is Good Friday, so make good on your Book of Days. Happy Easter, folks.
Profound! ..
Making a life and a living can go hand in hand.