The Opposite Life.

Now that we are coming to the end of the year my mind is slowly getting into that appraisal mode where I take stock of 2019. I read my verse of the day earlier in the week from a Bible App on my phone and a random thought surfaced. The verse Luke 6: 35 -36 reads “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never – I promise – regret it. Live out this God- created identity the way our father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our father is kind; you be kind.”

The random thought that came up was a question. Have I made more friends or enemies in 2019? This year has seen my biggest growth in my public service experience, and I believe it’s just the beginning. Sadly, my performance hasn’t received as much credit as I thought it would. I put in a lot of personal effort and goodwill only for it to be accepted with suspicion and outright false accusations in some instances. This is a reality I’m slowly accepting and learning not to lose sleep over it. With that view in mind I tend to think I have made several frenemies (enemies who came packaged as friends). Backstabbing seems to be an occupational hazard in public service. This Mr. Nice guy setting seems not to be working.

In hindsight the conflict between my approach to service and the harsh reality was caused largely by my naivety. I’m not a saint but I do try to live my life as uprightly as possible. I once heard a song defining a saint as a sinner who fell down and got up again. So maybe I’m a saint after all hehe.

The dilemma I see ahead is, how do I do things roho safi while keeping my back away from daggers aimed at me?  My experience this year has confirmed that I’m in need of a crash course in politics if I’m to survive in public service. But then again that sounds like I will end up being a Lucas I don’t like. Is there anything like positive politics? how does that look like? I believe there is a space to disagree without losing sight of our collective objective. Sadly, that’s more the exception than the rule. When you hold divergent views on a matter it’s perceived as an attack on the individual.

Being naïve has led me to criticize people I disagree with and that is a truth I’m not proud of. It has become my coping mechanism for dealing with the hostility directed at me. Luke 6: 36 was a timely reminder that going into 2020 I need to be kind because our Good Lord above is kind. The Good Book instructs me to act generously and graciously. It emphasizes that I will not regret it. That sounds like wishful thinking mixed with daydreaming. Who does that?

I may have to answer that question myself by saying – Me, I will try to do that in 2020. I think most life changing counsel is found in the Bible because we cannot pull through some instructions without divine assistance. Giving kindness in exchange for betrayal is like swimming upstream against the tide. Folks may start looking at us strangely as if we are walking down a busy Nairobi street with our trouser fly open. That’s what I call living oppositely (I’m now joining Uhuru Kenyatta in coining my own terms like his favorite – irregardless).

I believe living the opposite life is worth a try when we take a long-term view. We keep on doing good as much as it depends on us despite our actions seeming foolish and unproductive. It will pay off big time in the long run. At least the scriptures assure us of that. To motivate us further to keep doing good as we await our reward, we may want to see small rewards along the way. In the middle of accusations that I had misappropriated funds for an event we held earlier in the year, I calmly stated facts with evidence on what I was being accused for. Since then my accuser has not come forward to substantiate their allegations. Having a clear conscience will help you sleep better at night without having to take sleeping aids. I’ve heard that there are some big shots in our society who cannot sleep without taking something to induce sleep. That’s not how I want to live.

Folks let’s try this opposite life. Like most other things it will get easier and more comfortable as we practice living that way. If we trip and fall (which we sure will) along the way, we just get up and try again to live oppositely. With time our actions will vindicate us. Maybe even our accuser will convert and start living the opposite life.

That way of living sets one apart as freshly authentic and that’s a hallmark of doing life at 40.  It’s not easy but definitely worth the try. Let’s give it a shot goo people. But not in everything. When driving please keep left still he he. Not on the side of oncoming traffic.