I am unashamedly hooked to cartoon animation. My kids and I derive the same raha from watching them. Sometimes I think I am the one who enjoys them more. One of my favourite classics is Finding Neemo. I just love the story line and the humour thats embodied in the sea creatures. There is this part of the film that resonates with a place in my life. Neemo gets caught and ends up in an aquarium in a dentist’s office near the sea. He meets other prisoners (fish of course) and they conduct this initiation ceremony to make him a member of the fish tank gang.
He then must meet this flat, black fish with yellow stripes that is the boss of them all. His voice is deep and mean (yet he is just an overgrown omena). And here is where big boss and I in the small tank become one.
You see, for the many years that I ran my biashara, I was on top of my game at least it felt that way. I was the biggest and coolest fish (actually shark) in my tank. In my eyes, I was the main shark in the ocean of my world. And I must say it was a huge ocean to me. Now I realise it was just a fish bowl. That was my reality and I loved it.
Then 40 checks in and the dream goes down the pipe. It is no wonder they are called pipe dreams. Forty brings out the blinkers we have. Reality check has revealed that Im just the biggest shark in my own small tank. Even worse, I dont seem to see other sharks in my tank, just small algae eating fish.
Forty forced me to come up for air as my tank was turning increasingly green with pollution (anxiety in this case) and voila, I notice a big window in the room outside facing the sea and I cannot believe my eyes. There is this huge endless ocean with many big, mean-looking sharks and thousands of other types of sea animals. I suddenly feel like a spectator in this game called life. Strangely, though, I am scared kabisa yet I cannot wait to dive into that sea where all the action is and explore. Forty has opened my eyes. Just when I thought I had covered sufficient ground, it seems like I have just been on the practice pitch.
I’ve often wondered why some people tell me I’ve done well for myself yet I don’t see it, can’t see it. To me, it feels like I’m playing catch-up. I believe that view is for a good reason if I settle then mimi kwisha. I will end up entering that place they call early retirement, which in my personal view is equivalent to a graveyard only with a heartbeat. So as I look to jump into the ocean of my second half from this aquarium, I am not sure how things will go. I bet those sharks look mean from far but are far from mean. Forty to me is a real emergency because how one goes through it determines their destiny. And so as it’s written in buildings and matatus,- IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS,I’m breaking this glass and diving into the sea of significance for the swim of my life. Let’s see where the currents and tides will take me. I’m not sure where that will be but I’m sure it cannot be compared to swimming round a small fish tank all day with fake plastic plants.