Positive Reinforcement.

Last Sunday my family and I went to visit my niece in school. She is the oldest grandchild in my family. I remember when she was born; I’d volunteer babysitting services because I was so fond of her. I didn’t have kids of my own then, leave alone a wife, so she filled that daddy urge in me. I recall one instance when my sister’s house help went AWOL and I had to step in and spend the day with Baby Zee. Being in business, my schedule was flexible while my sister was employed.

It happened to be the day that my old 504 pickup had a doctor’s appointment. You can imagine the amusement at the garage when I appeared with a baby in a pickup for service. My sister doesn’t know this but I think that was the first time Baby Zee tasted Fanta and loaf for lunch when her malenge ran out.

Last year Zee moved from a school in Lavington to Kajiado. I imagined that must have been a shock to her system. Furthermore she was now going to boarding school for the first time. I felt apprehensive for her, wondering if she’ll hack it. Visiting her last Sunday not only dispelled my fears, but I was also pleasantly surprised in two ways. First, my niece has grown to be this confident, self-assured teenager who seems slightly different from the pack. I noticed she’s calm, talks less and observes more. There was a reassuring vibe about her that settled my anxiety. I left her school more relaxed and confident that she’ll do just fine.

The second surprise was the high standard of the school facilities. If I was blindfolded on the way to Kajiado and my blinds removed in the school compound, I would not have believed that we were in the dry plains of Kajiado. The cabro roads were clean and appeared washed with soap and brush. The buildings looked like they had just been placed there the week before. The roof, paint on the buildings and stone walls all looked new. Even the notices in the school boards seemed to be written in the same font. Well-trimmed trees and flower beds made the air cooler.

After processing this fine establishment, I noticed some blue boards with writings on them that appeared on every footpath and driveway. The blue boards were about ten to twenty meters apart so they were many. I started reading them as we took a tour of the school. Each board had an inspiring message or quote on it. I assumed the school management put these boards all over the place for the students and staff to read as they went about their business. I read a few and left that school feeling more positive than when I arrived.

One of the very few lessons I remember from my high school days was the experiment on Pavlov’s dog. Every time a bell was rang the dog was fed. After doing this for some time, the dog was denied food after the bell was rung but it still salivated in anticipation of the food. I’ve also read that if you do something for 21 days it will become a habit. Repetition has a way of making stuff sink in and become second nature. I think this is what the school management had in mind by putting positive messages all over the school.

I imagine if Zee woke up one morning feeling down then on the way to breakfast she reads a sign, ‘Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen,’ that might change her mind set for the day. This particular sign was near the entrance to her dorm. Another sign outside one of the labs read, ‘The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth.’ Such a sign might have been  helpful for some of us back in the day whose dealings with sciences were as much a struggle as fighting for Kenya’s independence.

Folks, many times life seems harder than it is because of limiting beliefs and mind-sets that we have. Then we make it worse by looking for help in all the wrong places. We seek counsel from anyone who cares to listen, read or watch stuff that makes the future appear gloomier like all the calamities happening around us. Yet we expect to live vibrant healthy lives.  I’m not saying we ignore human tragedies that are happening daily. But imagine what would happen if in the course of our daily errands we surrounded ourselves with positive vibes and allowed only helpful and encouraging messages to enter and dwell in our minds? I believe all of a sudden life would be brighter and more enjoyable.We have heard the quote ‘Garbage in garbage out.’

Let’s seek to have sign posts that reinforce and support the goals we want to achieve. These can be sticky notes on our computers, dressing rooms, car dashboards or even in our driveways for those of us who have them. Take a break from the news headlines and newspapers and read a book that speaks into an area you want to improve in. Lenga WhatsApp for some time and listen to some uplifting music or message.

The change in your outlook may not be noticeable immediately but it will eventually come and life will be much more exciting, yet nothing will have changed on the outside. Reinforce positive vibes at all costs.

Happy Eid Mubarak to all our Muslim brothers and sisters.

PS: Bob Buford’s Halftime Institute is coming to Kenya for the first time and i am delighted to be part of this mix. See the poster on my home page here for more details and register ASAP as slots are limited. This is spot on for you all my 40s people.