Lucas Marang'a

A man at 40

Mother

Hey folks. On 26th February my mother in love (mother in law) passed away. It was a kawaida Sunday, we were in high spirits in my household after one of those Sundays where you attend church and really enjoy and feel connected to God and each other. I dropped my clan at home, made them hotdogs and ketchup (I can cook) and just as niggeritis was kicking in on that hot Sunday afternoon, i left for a site visit at a friends hotel where she wanted me to measure a canopy for her restaurant.

After our site visit I checked my phone as I headed to my car and saw missed calls from my wife and her brother. I immediately knew something was terribly wrong and confirmed it once I returned those calls. Usually when you are told rush to hospital, your worst fears are confirmed. So I met other family members and close friends at the hospital and for sure mum had left us. The following week was a roller coaster of planning and emotions as we tried to give mum a befitting send off.

Death has a way of forcing us to reflect and evaluate our lives. I was asked many times over those two weeks, Lucas, how are you? And just when I was tempted to respond in auto pilot and say Im fine, I hesitated because that would have been a lie. So my answer was I dont know. And thats the truth.

There has been such an amazing outpouring of love, support and glowing tributes for mum and as a family we are forever indebted. Truly, we write our eulogy as we live. And what is described in eulogies is what matters most in life. Child of so and so, mother or father of .., sibling of, grandparent of, spouse of As I think about mum I found myself apologising for the times I may have judged her harshly or misunderstood her actions. Please forgive me mum. But as I gave my funeral tribute to this remarkable and beautiful woman (she was hooot for real, so Im sorted as far as having a supu wife for life is concerned thanks to good genes), my heart got lighter. For most of what I said about her, she knew and was aware of as I had told her when she was here with us.
Even better was the tribute from mummy shark (my wife) and her siblings at the funeral service. Mum equipped them to face whatever life throws their way. So, as we pay tribute to mum today, the lesson for me is Ill strive to appreciate and help mankind as much as I can whenever I can (she was an exceptional Rotarian). As the song says tenda mema, nenda zako. That was mum. Looking ahead I hope to have nothing to say at funerals that I will attend because I will have said it to you when you could hear and see me. Thats what counts.

So fare thee well cucu Caroline (my totos called her that). What you left in us is much greater than what you have gone with and we shall honour you that way. Happy international Womens day mum (I wrote this on that day) and Happy Mothers day this week. Enjoy a glass of your favourite red wine with all those great men and women who went before you.

Cheers.

Friday, May 19, 2017 | Musings

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