Last Word.

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough,” says Josh Billings, 19th-century American humorist and lecturer. I got that quote from the Business Daily gazeti (paper) in the week. They have a quote on the last page every day titled Last Word.

This has been a continuous struggle for me. There are times I regret talking and there are times I kick myself for not speaking up. It’s a balanced wisdom that I’m still seeking. Politicians contribute a good portion of their citizens’ woes through a disease I call foot in mouth.  Oftentimes times they say things they shouldn’t say or remain tight-lipped when they should have spoken out. Once the consequences of loose talk catch up with them they say they have been misunderstood and misquoted. May we learn to sip water before we speak folks.

Folks as we wind down the year my Christmas wish for you is that we may attain the wisdom to know when silence is costly and when talking is golden. We then will reduce the problems in life both for ourselves and others. Blessed are the peacemakers, even the Good Book says. And peace is hugely dependent not just on what we say but when (and how) we say it.

There is a series of books I came across at an airport bookstore some years back. It is an international bestseller by Richard Templer. It’s a series of books about different rules in life. I bought two because the second one was half-price. I like books that have short stories. They make an easy read for me. The two books are The Rules Of Life and The Rules of People.

Rule 11 in the Rules of Life book advises us to be the last to raise our voices. Life has numerous reasons to make us lose our cool. Shouting seems to be the norm everywhere. People are loud. Social media is screaming for our attention and everyone seems out to get a piece of us in one way or another. So, if you are calm, something seems to be wrong with you yet it makes one stand out in my view.

Templer says that shouting is a sign that we have lost control. I agree. How about if we adopted ‘I don’t do shouting’ as our status? Let us try it for the remainder of this year and report our findings. Hopefully, we will like the benefits enough to add No Shouting to our New Year’s resolutions list. Templer ends this rule beautifully. “Calm people get trusted. Calm people get relied on. Calm people get looked up to and given responsibility. Calm people last longer”. Wouldn’t you want to be described that way? Stay calm this December folks no matter how 2024 has treated you.

In Rule 30, Templer encourages us to have a sense of humour. Earlier this week this rule was put to the test. All my baby sharks got lost at night and in downtown Nairobi. Mummy Shark and I have never been in such a situation. They were returning home from a sleepover at their cousins’ place. Kumbe the new driver I sent to pick them doesn’t know Nairobi well. I also think he became a mjuaji and ignored some directions he was given. He ended up royally lost and going around in circles in town.

I was called from my meeting by mummy shark to go find them. When I’d call him, he would have no clue where they were. So, I just drove into town to try and locate them. That’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. Or harder than finding a lost golf ball in a thicket from a long and wrong shot (which is often the case for me hehe). After several calls that threatened to blow away my cool, they finally got to a place that my daughter recognized. It was around Museum Hill.

They managed to stop and gave the phone to a lady who confirmed they were at Museum Hill. I left downtown to drive towards them and located the car on the expressway at the museum entry. It was a relief seeing my brood. They were tired but ok. We then drove home along the expressway and came off on the next exit at Bunyala Road, snaking our way through Upperhill to home.

It was a happy reunion when we found Mummy Shark at the door waiting eagerly. I was glad I could rescue my kids. Felt like a hero hehe. That’s what good fathers do ama? Strangely I wasn’t scared or too anxious through that adventure (I chose not to call it an ordeal because I didn’t think it was).

As we debriefed before going to bed I told my totos that they now have been to a part of the city they never knew. I saw it as a detour on the way home. Like a city tour in the night. I hope it reduced the feeling of being too sheltered because I sometimes think we shield our kids too much in the name of providing for them. May we not be the gatherers who are raising scatterers.  It was a funny incident mainly because it ended well.

Templer in Rule 30 tells us to see something funny in whatever life throws at us along the way. He goes on to say that, “laughing at ourselves and the situations we find ourselves in has a double positive effect. It diffuses tension and has real physical and mental benefits”. He ends by encouraging us to find the funny side of everything. It’s the best technique for instant stress relief and dissolving anxiety and doubt.

I must admit this is one of my favourite rules in the book because I like to consider myself a funny guy. In a nice way hehe.