I’m increasingly learning that life is not as hard as it appears sometimes. If we can pause long enough to notice the clues offered by life then it tends to get smoother. Especially if we follow through on those clues and hints. I recently decided to borrow a leaf from my good friend Vincent. This corona season has proven that life is indeed short. Maybe even shorter than it was before. He like many of us has lost near and dear ones. And for that reason, he vowed that when anyone comes to his mind (that’s the clue) he will call them and ask to meet with them. Now is all we have that’s guaranteed folks. Yesterday’s gone. Kesho is but a hope.
Vincent has reached out to me twice in the recent past. Once for lunch and another time for a round of golf. I hope he’s thought about me more than twice though hehe. Both encounters were quite refreshing. We did just as the Good book instructs in Proverbs 27: 17 – “As iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another”. There are few things better than spending time with a true pal, building each other while having a good laugh. Truly builds the inner man. That’s how I felt.
About three weeks ago I decided to ape Vincent’s good behaviours. A friend whom we served with in golf administration a few years ago came to mind randomly. I was a bit surprised myself because I wouldn’t say we were close. What stood out for me back then was her sober and practical approach to issues. She helped me push the agenda of the day and we worked pretty well together. It’s refreshing when you get to work with someone whose sharper than you, doesn’t pull rank on you and you both share a common vision.
So I called her out of the blue and as expected she was surprised. We planned to meet up and that happened this week. I noticed that it’s rare nowadays for folks to call each other just to catch up roho safi. Most of us call people with an agenda. While that has its place, let’s try and remain genuinely interested in people’s well being and offer our time just to hear them out. The agendas we have (if any) flow naturally after that and folks will be more inclined to help us.
After getting over the pleasant surprise of calling (then meeting) without an agenda, we got chatting as we teed off. Maybe that was the agenda for me, to play golf on a weekday hehe. My pal is sixty and I got to see how a well-grounded sixty year old views the world. We enjoyed our round of golf and sat down for a drink before I left. After we parted ways I went processing the few lessons I’d learnt from her.
First and probably what stood out most was the peace she confessed. It was the first time I heard someone say they have so much peace that they are wondering if something is wrong. I desire peace like that. Secondly was the deeply entrenched confidence that what is hers will find her. I’m a believer in this and have even experienced it. But I continue to struggle with it because I often find myself trying to force some doors open yet I’m reluctant to go through doors that have been opened for me. My friend’s outlook reminded me that I should focus on what’s come to me effortlessly even as I look for the key holders of the doors I desire to be opened. Folks we need to commit ourselves fully to the task at hand and trust that the result of that will be another opportunity that suits us well. Being present is so liberating and we don’t have to be sixty years old to achieve it.
My pal is an engineer so I decided to share a deal I have pursued for a long time as it is in her field of work, of which I had no idea before our meeting. She knows a few people that may have the keys to the door I’d like opened so she promised to inquire for me. And that she did as a few days later I got the information I needed to direct my next steps. The lesson here is sometimes someone will come to mind because it could be the appointed time for them to help us. Or the other way around. For us to help them.
Lastly, because it was clear that my friend was just at the tail end of a transition I couldn’t resist introducing the halftime concept and program. Clearly, transition coaching is embedded deeply in me. I was surprised that she embraced it and took it positively. She even ordered the halftime book and felt she would learn something new and that challenged me. Many times we stop learning when we are in a comfortable space in life. Yet the most successful people and organizations seek to learn the most when they are doing well. What appears like comfort zones to many are learning (and even leaping zones) to others. May we be in the leaping group.
So good people, who is on your mind? Will you call them? it may just be the best call you’ve made in a long time.