Albert Einstein said, “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things”. We are in that goal season of the year where we review if we have achieved our goals for 2023 as we contemplate our goals for next year that’s about three weeks away.
A pal once told me that having a gym is an easy way to make money. I didn’t get what he meant until he explained. He said that many people have physical fitness as a recurring New Year’s goal. They pay for a gym membership for the whole year to ensure they don’t abandon their goal halfway through the year. Sadly by the time most get to Easter, they are only exercising their thoughts and opinions, not their bodies. Only a minority carry on from here feeling the pain of exercise (and maybe diet) because they have their eyes fixed on the gain ahead. Since gym membership is non-refundable the gym owner profits for the rest of the year.
If Einstein’s statement is true then our happiness drops when we abandon our goals. I can testify to that. Whenever I feel like I’m not working towards something I feel stuck. Like my life has stalled. Is that a common feeling with you folks? One of my long itches through most of my 40s has been the discomfort of not being busy enough doing something I’m passionate about. How do you have a clear goal when going through halftime transitions? It’s a confusing and blurry season of life. Though in the process I feel I’ve earned my almost 10000 hours studying, experiencing, and coaching on transitions. So I can advise that even nothing is a goal. Yes, nothing. I even discovered there’s a place of nothingness that’s critical to resetting ourselves to maximize our next season of life.
Successful transitions require that we pause long enough to hear or at least sense what and where life is directing us. The still small voice of discernment can easily be muffled by the busyness we have been accustomed (almost addicted) to. That kelele (noise) is a hostile environment to figure out what our next step should be especially if we are searching for significance.
So why do we tie our happiness to people or things? It’s a default setting for most humans. I sometimes wonder if it’s a manufacturing error. Since sir God doesn’t make mistakes last time I checked then it must be just bad habits that we pick up and pass on from our existence and interactions with one another.
We are social beings and covid proved that socialising is a basic need like food and water. People went to great lengths to connect, even risking their lives and breaking the law just to be near folks they love. Plus of course, we go further when we go together. That said it helps to have people or things that will push us towards our goals. The fact remains that we shouldn’t tie our happiness to things or people but we need some carefully selected people and maybe things to help us accelerate to our goals.
Do we have people in our lives currently who are a stumbling block to us achieving our goals? It’s important to choose our destiny helpers carefully, although some are chosen for us by circumstances. These are folks we give meddling rights over our lives to ask us the hard questions that will bring us closer to our goal and subsequently a happy life.
Do you have destiny helpers? Or a personal board of directors as I prefer to call them. How have they helped you this year? would having a goal help you live a happier life? What would that be and how would that look like? I started being a goal person in my 40s. We can say I’m a late bloomer hehe. Before that, I used to find them too intellectual and theoretical. Like I’m being boxed by things I committed to yet life is dynamic and changes constantly. But that has since changed. I’m now older and hopefully wiser. I have goals but simple and most applicable to me and my journey. Do goals for you and not for others. This year I had four goals. I have achieved two and the third one is partially done. Climbing Mt Kenya and going on a photo safari with Usha Harish (google her) are my two accomplished goals for 2023. So we could say I scored over 50% this year.
I wrote those goals on my whiteboard in the office and that helped keep them top of mind. What are my goals for next year? Mmmmhh I haven’t figured that out yet but I intend to have them clear and written down in January. Doing that has kept me somewhat focused especially when things seem slow and almost at a standstill. Movement is important for me and my goals have been that fuel keeping me in motion for that’s where the miracle is, in the moving.
Folks I hope I have convinced those of you who are as skeptical as I was that this goal thing works. Maybe it’s a good idea to spend the remaining three weeks of this year figuring out how you’d like your 2024 to look like and putting that down as your goals. Remember not to have too many. I once read that if you have more than four or five priorities then you have none. Start small and keep your goals as practical as possible. Ensure they cause you some discomfort as that’s how you know you’re growing. Once that’s done tie your life around them and the enablers will show up when you commit. Do that and a happy (or happier) life will start loading. And don’t pay for the gym if you won’t follow through. That money can pay for a tax or two (pun intended) hehe.
This part really hit home for me. The still small voice of discernment can easily be muffled by the busyness we have been accustomed (almost addicted) to. That kelele (noise) is a hostile environment to figure out what our next step should be especially if we are searching for significance.
This blog really speaks to me. Be blessed Lucas.
A good reminder that we need to spend a few days setting goals for the coming year. I guess by also sitting still, we hear the inner voice. Thank you for the Friday read this year, I have been inspired and also had a laugh as I read. All the best in 2024.
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