Give Your Flowers.

International Men’s Day was on Tuesday this week,19^th November. I felt we should do something to celebrate jamaas (men). We couldn’t allow the international toilet day to outshine our day hehe. Can that be changed by the way?  

Doing an in-person event would take much work and the time was short as I started thinking about this day about three weeks ago. For some reason, I didn’t feel like doing another webinar. Then a penny dropped (I prefer pennies dropping instead of thoughts hehe). Why not attempt a podcast? It’s both in-person and virtual. I’ve only been to a podcast once and I was the guest so all I had was an idea bila experience. I ran it through my Chill and Connect partner, Vicky and she found it a brilliant idea. We did our first men’s event about two months ago and it was quite inspiring. The men hoped that this would not be a one off so I had that ka pressure in my mind to honour that.

Once aligned with Vicky that the event would happen and it would be a podcast, we needed to get a good panel. Just two gents with a compelling story. We landed on Paul Murunga aka Pablo and clinical psychologist Biko Mangula. Pablo has a story that many men would relate to but what makes it unique is how he tells it and owns it. Gen Zs taught us that the end of fear is the beginning of courage. Pablo doesn’t cover his scars any longer. He talks about them openly and they are turning into stars for him and other men. That’s why we found him a good fit for our podcast, plus he calls himself the chief storyteller.

Biko is a chilled dude with a sharp sense of style. He is an award-winning mental health advocate and has walked with many men in his line of work. Plus he would moderate the talk as Pablo and I can get out of hand with our animated talk.

The theme was Be a man, Lift a man. Many men are lone rangers. We go through life pretending we don’t need any help and claiming to be self-made. What’s a self-made man by the way? can you make yourself? we need to be not just our brother’s keeper but our brother’s travelling companion in life. We go far when we go together. I hoped the podcast would be an attempt to grow a movement of men walking through life pamoja. Adjusting one another’s collars without letting the world know it is crooked.

The theme for this year’s International Men’s Day was positive male role models. It seemed to be a theme with a few angles of focus. Male role models should be on the list of endangered species today. They are few and far between. We are letting down our sons at an alarming rate. But many men were also let down by their fathers. We are therefore passing poor or toxic tabias (behaviours) to our young men. We need to reverse that trend as if our future depends on it because it does.

Both Biko and Pablo shared what they are doing to mentor young men in their circles. I liked the angle Biko has taken in mentoring his nephews. We often overlook the need to start at home yet that’s where charity begins. Gents may we be more intentional in walking the talk and walking more with the young men in our midst. Not all lessons are taught. Some are caught by observation. That means spending time with

And that’s connected to another goal of this day. Highlighting issues such as male suicide and fatherhood. Biko and Pablo shared very personal experiences about fatherhood and suicide. Having men in such a vulnerable state is quite rare. I was glad that we could go there, places or depths that men avoid. There were times when our eyes started sweating (men don’t cry hehe) as we spoke. I really do hope a man out there was encouraged to face his giants and keep going.

I liked how along the conversation we would give flowers to men who have helped us get where we are today. That arose from a beautiful article Pablo wrote about his dad. You can find it on his LinkedIn page @pablo murunga. And because a man doesn’t rise by lowering a woman, we also gave flowers to the women who have influenced our lives and continue to make us better men. A good man also strives to bring out the best in the women in his life. Having women in our lives enables us to see life in colour, not just black and white.

The podcast lasted about 100 minutes yet it felt much shorter. That’s what good, authentic and meaningful conversations feel like. Time just flies when you are building each other. For our first Chill and Connect podcast it went well despite a clumsy start thanks to technology gremlins. The miracle is in the moving. For that reason, we committed to keep going and attempt a podcast every two months or so. I’m putting that out here to avoid chickening out as we get into the new year.

Fellas the podcast is on YouTube –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seh5ISsaJlM . Make time to watch it if you haven’t. I hope you find it helpful. Then share it with another brother who might need it. That’s how to be a man, by lifting a man.

Men, we appreciate you on this day and every other day. keep showing up and doing your best. Receive your flowers on this day.