Feedback Freak.

I recently did a 360 assessment of my leadership abilities that required I appoint folks above me as my managers, folks who I consider my peers and those who report directly to me. It took a bit of time to nominate people for the 3 categories as I’m not in a formal work environment. I however managed to get individuals who would fit into those roles fairly well.

They were to rate my leadership abilities based on the six competencies of emotional intelligence; self-awareness, awareness of others, emotional reasoning, authenticity, self-management and positive influence. I chose folks who know me fairly well and are comfortable enough to give honest feedback about their interactions with me as far as my leadership goes.

I consider myself a fairly self-assured guy and have gotten feedback from various people to confirm the same. While I thrive on positive reviews I have a slight discomfort hearing what I’m not good at. I prefer to give myself negative feedback instead of having others call me out. So we could say I’m not as open as I appear to be sometimes. Or maybe it’s a self-preservation of sorts. Like, let me say Lucas is bad instead of hearing it from someone else. I’m slowly learning that feedback is feedback. We are to use it to grow and improve ourselves. Maybe we shouldn’t look at it as negative or positive feedback. I need to take it less personally.

I need to work the muscle of receiving what I consider unpleasant feedback. When we deny, resist or avoid hearing uncomfortable truths about us then we limit ourselves from growing and becoming better people. I’m not sure where this fear or dislike of feedback came from but it is clear that if I am to grow then I have not just to receive it but actively seek it. With that, I hope my blind spots will decrease and I will be more emotionally intelligent.

The feedback did come and I was grateful for it. Most of it was positive but there were a few gaps. I remember trying to connect the not-so-good feedback with who may have said it. Until in the debrief with my Mwalimu, she asked me to look at it as the average response from my raters combined. That helped shift my perspective and make it more objective.

The 360-degree feedback required that I thank my raters and seek more information on how I could be a better leader. I’ve already done that with a direct report and discovered she has been suffering in silence. It was like learning a new language, this feedback-seeking thing but I got to do it. I vowed to do better now that I’m aware.

Another interesting thing emerged from my self-assessment compared to my raters’ assessment. Most of my raters were generous as far as positive feedback is concerned but my feedback was quite different. It appears I’m a harsh critic of myself compared to others. For instance, I rated myself a 2 out of 5 under asking others for feedback on my leadership, yet my raters all gave me an average score of 4 and above. Do I see myself differently? What do I need to change? That’s a big gap and it concerns me. Another wide variance was in authenticity. I scored myself a 3 out of 5 in being open about my feelings, thoughts and opinions. My raters all scored me 4 and above. Do I show folks a version that I’m not? Made me wonder whether I’m an imposter to myself and others.

 My Mwalimu in the debrief coached me quite well through the wide variances between my assessment and that of others. I was instructed to sit with my results and I’m still doing that. With time I hope I will uncover some new realisations. Lucas version 5.0 might just be in the offing once I’m done with this deep dive hehe.

This process has made me begin to feel a bit more comfortable with the feedback I got especially in the areas of improvement. It’s like leakage to passing the exam of life. Doing better in all 6 competencies will hopefully make me a better coach and leader.

Folks, do you shun feedback? What makes you do so? How can you change your settings to seek and receive it going forward? Feedback always has value. It’s how we look at it that unlocks the value, and we use it for self-improvement. And as Marshall Goldsmith encourages us, the person we seek feedback from takes it as the ultimate compliment. We like being asked for our opinion. It shows we are valued and important to the one asking. So ask for feedback regularly but also dish it out genuinely when asked for it.

That said, I’m still of the view that we should focus more on what we are good at. That’s why the strength finder assessment by Gallup is my preferred tool for self-knowledge. It clarifies our top strengths and how we can make them work for us. I’m more aware of my strengths than my shortcomings and I prefer it that way. But it’s not all one-sided. An overused strength risks becoming a weakness. Gallup calls that a basement and the attributes from our strengths are referred to as balconies. I like that approach that recognizes what could go wrong but still emphasises working our superpowers.

Folks seek feedback by all means and use it for self-improvement. Review and often question the feedback you give yourself too. Compare what you tell yourself with what others tell you then take a tangent and play in that zone. Chances are that’s where peak performance lies. Oh, and remember to thank your raters after the exercise. It’s just good manners hehe.