
What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from – T.S Elliot.
I found that quote quite revealing. Many times we are fixated and often traumatized by the endings we encounter in life. This blinds us to the beginning that’s about to unfold. Consequently, we resist the ending instead of welcoming it. For something to start in life more often than not something else has to end first. We are at the end of the year and I think it’s a good time to explore the endings that may coincide with the end of 2021.
I’m reading a wonderful book by William and Susan Bridges – Transitions, making sense of life’s changes. William highlights the three phases of transitions namely, endings, the neutral zone and new beginnings. Over the next three Fridays, we will explore what each of these phases looks like. I’m keen on learning how you folks are handling them and what you’ve gleaned along the way so kindly share. I feel that will be a good way to wrap up the year.
Endings take forever. Just this week one of the directors of my tent business (that we closed earlier this year) inquired if the auditors had closed the books. That took me back to when this ending began more than three years ago. Back then I remember venting to my coach how stuck I felt and the mounting frustration as a result. He challenged me to consider two things. First that my new beginning could be waiting for me to exit my current season. Secondly that I need to be more proactive in bringing the ending to a close. Not waiting for others to do it for me.
That didn’t come naturally because I preferred to exit my business when another one had already started. Looking for the elusive safety net. Well, that’s good in the ideal world and it does happen for some lucky folks. But never for me. I’m still wondering why. Maybe I’m those students of life that have to see the teacher after class to get the lesson in fully. Ni sawa tu.
Are you in the process of an ending as you read this? do you feel stuck? my halftime coach challenged me to own my ending. Feeling stuck in a place or season is often a sign that an ending is around the corner. The hard part is we often feel helpless and a victim of circumstances. Anxiety can cripple us because we are clueless about what to do next. Folks, until we pull ourselves up we will not be able to cross over into a new beginning. And sadly this is one of those roles we cannot delegate. People can help you, cheer you on but they cannot get you out. You have to want out bad enough to start actioning your exit. Remember courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Wondering how exactly to do that? I highly recommend the halftime program. Drop me a line.
My ending from a twenty-year-old business has taken too long in my view. I have realized that the longer I remained stuck and inactive the dimmer my prospects appeared. But when you attempt to consciously end your current season then hope starts rising. Reminds me of those bikes we used to ride as kids, the black mamba. Some had a tiny bulb that would be charged while cycling. The faster we cycled the brighter the light shone. When we slowed down it dimmed and eventually went off when at a standstill.
Life has a way of forcing us forward. It doesn’t take overstaying our welcome in one season kindly. And when we refuse to move on it becomes hostile to us. From what I know now, I believe the solution for this is to embrace endings more. See them as yet another opportunity for self-renewal. Transition is the way to personal development, William says. And isn’t that what we all desire?
I’m not yet where I’d want to be but glad I’m headed there. My unique assignment and ideal platform are unfolding slowly. I’m learning that everything doesn’t have to make sense all the time. This hasn’t removed the anxiety of the unknown but with time it’s less paralysing compared to three years ago. I also suspect that it wouldn’t have taken this long to get here if I didn’t stall too much. This is me urging you to embrace whatever ending you might be in.
Despite the fear of the next phase – The Neutral Zone, endings can be celebrated especially because they birth new beautiful things. For instance, the ending of my involvement with my business birthed this blog. It was a coping mechanism at first to release pressure from the voices in my head. Five years down the road it has led to new places and more excitedly meeting new people.
Next week we consider the neural zone which from experience makes an ending more frightening. It’s like jumping off a plane thousands of feet up in the air, disappearing into the clouds and you cant see the ground. But jumping we must if our life is to count for anything. Remember the end is where we start from.
What’s ending for you ? and how do you feel about it?
Oh my, such wisdom! Such gentle articulation! You have given me a lot of food for thought, Lucas. Which is perfect because this somber Nairobi weather isn’t asking for anything else but introspection. I will look inward and contemplate some more. Thanks for sharing!
Endings give us chances to rest, breathe and reflect on the conclusion of a journey in preparation for a new one.