Bend Over.

I have often spoken about flexibility. Being aware of our changing circumstances and flowing with them. But it is usually easier said than done. For two reasons, I believe. Fear of the unknown and the familiarity of the comfort zone. I’ve struggled with those two this week. I was allowed to lead a whole day workshop of dynamic, youthful marketers. I almost blurted out a weak excuse so as not to attend because I felt inadequate to run workshops. I felt the fear and accepted the assignment nonetheless.

I was afraid of failure. Afraid to underperform and let the team and myself down. Then I remembered a quote I once read. “The problem with the world is that intelligent people doubt themselves while the stupid ones are full of confidence”. I want to believe that I’m doubting myself because I’m intelligent Hehe. So, I dug deep and sought my positive intent. To help the folks there and for me to learn through this experience.

I’m reading an old book from my dad’s library by Douglas Whitelaw. One story on surrender has a guy making an illustration. He says, “The man who is always resisting is the man who is worn out first. The one who is always looking for trouble is always finding it. The stubborn man is always getting harder knocks than the one who accepts his troubles with resiliency of temper. The hot-headed man has a harder time of it than the flexible man.”

We are resistant to change. It seems to be the default setting for many. Yet the way to growth is through the wall of change. The discomfort of the new and the accompanying feeling of inadequacy is what holds many of us back. Yet we all want to be proud of ourselves and others to be proud of us. Oseola Mccarthy says that if we want to be proud of ourselves, we’ve got to do things we can be proud of. Like saying yes to opportunities and figuring out how to deliver. Richard Branson advises that first say yes when asked for something then go figure. That’s what I did with my workshop and group coaching facilitation for this week.

 I’ve been biting my nails and trying to sound corporate in my preparation. Yet that’s not me. Who we are is how we coach. That’s how I was psyching myself up. Change can be frightening, folks, but the results of not changing can be frightening, too.

We grow by stretching ourselves, and if we are to do things we are proud of, then that will often involve change. Just like the tree, if we don’t bend with the wind, we risk breaking. I’ll go with continuous improvement; that’s better than delayed perfection, according to Mark Twain.

The comfort zone is the other barrier to progress. I have often said that the comfort zone is good, but nothing grows there. I have sung that song with pride after climbing out of a 20-year comfort zone into the life I lead now. But the comfort zone is often like a jilted lover that stubbornly refuses to let us go. Or deceives us sometimes to think we’ve broken up just for it to show up in our next season and confirm it never left.

That’s what happened this week. I started wishing this was a coaching assignment because I’ve become good at that and have gotten known for it. Yet I forgot that my gift is speaking, and facilitation falls in there. Why do we get comfortable so easily, so quickly with a skill that we have mastered almost to the point of closing the door for other opportunities to come in and help us blossom? Are our gifts jealous of each other? Or are we just focus people who prefer to do one thing only?

We need to be careful that we work our gifts and not let them play us. We have many gifts and talents. We have overworked some and neglected others. Folks, the more of our gifts that we put to use the more flexible we become, and the more colourful our lives get. When the wind of change blows at us, then we are more flexible because we can adjust to various changing circumstances and maximise the opportunity.

Of course, I’m not saying that we should be a jack of all trades or say yes to everything that comes our way. But we can trust our inner wisdom to guide us to take up or seek work that aligns with our values, even if it’s not what we are used to. My gift of speaking came in handy during that workshop, and it married well with the coaching experience that I’m used to. Asking powerful questions and listening actively all contributed to making this more of a fun shop, not just a workshop.

As I drove back from Elementaita, I was happy to have done that gig. I felt like I had grown, left a positive mark on those guys and had fun times. Plus, the breathtaking views made me wish I had carried my camera. It was a good day all around. The next time work you are good at comes your way, but dressed differently, accept it and go do it in only a way that you can.   It is you they are after, the unique and gifted you and not what we think we should be in our minds.