Don’t Normalize Blessings.

I have often struggled with this, normalizing blessings. Running, hiking and golf are my preferred physical activities. There were times I would run to keep sane. I would feel like there were tormentors in my mind chasing me and I needed to outrun them. I felt so cornered by life that I couldn’t sit still. Most of that time was characterized by loud silence. I was in a place of nothingness. When everyone and even sir God had gone mute on me and nothing I did seemed to be showing any results. In hindsight, I was in the years of the bamboo. Those 5 years (though mine felt like ten) when the Chinese bamboo is just growing underground to establish the foundation that will support its rapid growth when it shoots above ground.

Often times we get stressed because we cannot see the fruits of our labor. We may need to open our inner eyes to see what’s happening beneath the surface and that takes a long conscious effort. A deeper self-awareness is necessary. There is some evidence now of that period of long silence and seeming inactivity. But the danger is that I am now wanting bigger and better breaks. Another version of dissatisfaction has kicked in and I don’t like it. I feel guilty of ungratefulness. Makes sense?

While that’s the way to growth and progression, not settling, there is a dangerous blindspot that can keep us from enjoying the journey we are on. Greed and ambition can sometimes be difficult to differentiate. They could both be green in color just like envy. Maybe just different shades of green. Chasing the next thing continuously without celebrating small wins along the way takes us back to the rat race. And that’s no way to live especially in the second half of life

I have made progress in my journey as a coach and on a personal project that’s been close to my heart. Stuff I longed for and prayed over is coming to pass. At times I haven’t even paused to be grateful but started worrying immediately about the next goal. I’m not proud of that kind of forgetting. Folks, maybe when we forget past achievements, we are more likely to get discouraged when future goals seem elusive. Contentment is wanting what we have. And keeping the contentment light on as we pursue new goals may be the way to progress.

Why do we normalize our blessings and achievements so easily? And what is the antidote to that? Human beings are complex creatures. We always want more. That’s our default setting. Yet to live deeply meaningful and impactful lives we have to go against that setting and build a new one. One that’s driven by generosity, inner peace, and contentment. One way to achieve that is to celebrate small wins as I mentioned earlier. Another way is to document or journal our achievements and date them.  That will show how we progress in life in real-time. I recently came across a graduation invite my parents had to celebrate my university graduation in 1997. I was half my age then. It took me down memory lane and I questioned if I have done them proud in the other half of my life between 1997 and today. Being still here 25 years later is a huge blessing yet I have often found it just kawa. Not good.

Another habit I have tried cultivating (though I give up too soon) is to verbalize my blessings and the gratitude that follows. I have done that to myself, the people who made the blessings happen, and to Sir God who makes everything possible but I often forget. I need to resume my early morning meditations to keep that active. Blessings are good folks but their comfort can be a distraction. We need to use our achievements as a catalyst for more and better.

I have just realized as I write this that maybe my coaching is slowly becoming a comfort zone. I enjoy it, my clients show progress from our time together and that’s made me feel like I have arrived. Personal development is key in addition to deeper self-awareness. I need to study more and attain higher levels of expertise both for myself and the sake of those I partner with. I have made upgrading to a new coaching credential another goal for 2023. Watch this space folks hehe and please keep me accountable.

It is funny when a thought lingers then an encounter confirms it. I met with a lawyer buddy who deals with the family court a lot. He’s handling a matter for my family. He gave me horror stories about adult kids gone rogue after the demise of a parent. He asked me to count the fact that my siblings and I get along as a blessing and that it’s not common. At first, I dismissed him in my mind then I thought about this week’s story and wondered what was missing. I realized familiarity does breed not just contempt but diminishes our blessings. Another incident was visiting my mum and finding a framed poster of a Subaru that I did many years ago. Today I drive one and even complain about it sometimes. See my life….. I need to change that thinking.

Folks I hope we can remain woke as far as our blessings go and more so as we scale up in life. Let’s remember the day of humble beginnings but carry that humility and awareness to the day of great accomplishments. DO NOT Normalise your Blessings.