Stalling.

Animals can teach us plenty about human behaviour. I guess that’s why we are considered mammals just like them. My youngest baby shark refers to zebras as her cousins. That’s because we told her that her name means zebra in the animal kingdom. I don’t mind the association. She’s (more) pretty just like the zebra. I’m still daydreaming about the sights and sounds of the animals at the Masai Mara. The hangover from my recent photo safari still lingers. The Mara River crossing remains one of my key highlights.

I noticed the wildebeest would jump clumsily straight into the river and swim across. The zebras however chose a less dramatic approach. Unlike their wildebeest cousins who simulated a diving competition straight from the Olympics,  zebras would look for a less steep path and tread down slowly. I even saw a few test the water’s depth (and maybe temperature) with one leg (or is it hoof) then proceed cautiously. Once one of them decided that it’s safe to cross it would enter the water slowly as if trying not to soil its clean coat with too much splashing. The others would then follow one by one in a line. From what I witnessed, Zebras qualify to be the slay queens of the animal kingdom hehe.

I was more surprised by their calmness. As the wildebeest water stampede continued, some zebras would stop for a drink midstream. I’m still not sure if that was misplaced confidence or foolishness. They clearly knew something we did not. Whatever it was, they seemed to show their fellow herbivore relas that the crossing is overrated. They all made it through but I was a little disappointed. I was hoping for some crocodile action on this all-you-can-eat buffet that nature had brought to their pool.

How often do we stall in life? Why do we stall even when we know we are on the right track? I have often blamed our education system (and our upbringing) that required us to be seen more than heard. Our kids now (generation Z) have turned the tables. We are hearing them even before we have offered them the chance to speak. School and life today has emboldened them to go for what they want without apologizing for it. Their level of confidence can easily be confused for disrespect or impatience. No wonder they are called zoomers. Wazazi, kazi kwetu. We have to find a way to keep up and manage the situation.

Luck has been defined as when opportunity meets preparedness. I have been trying to sell my Mara collection. I bumped into an acquittance earlier this week who’s a mkubwa in the tourism industry. After a quick catch up, I blurted out that I was in the Mara recently and I have images that may interest her and her organization. It felt awkward grabbing the opportunity to make my elevator pitch. The voice in my head was telling me not to fully express my ask. Like I will appear desperate or my friend will find me too upfront.

Not fully expressing myself and regretting it later is my definition of stalling. I sell myself short many times and I hate it. Our conscience will always inform us when we stall. I’m glad I mumbled through what I wanted to say in that chance encounter. I felt good for taking advantage of the opportunity plus my chances of showcasing my work (and even selling) have increased. I sent the lady some images. She was impressed and asked if her organization can use them in their branding. Let’s see how that goes.

Folks, maybe life would be kinder to us if we stopped selling ourselves short by stalling. Opportunities don’t force themselves on us. I think they come in mute. It is easy to miss them. Once they pass someone else snaps them up. They never go to waste. One way to reduce stalling, especially the kind that works against us is by continuously pushing ourselves to speak up. With time and practice, we get more confident and our authentic self rises to the surface more frequently.  And how refreshing that is.

Another vaccine against stalling is social distancing from imposter syndrome. Trying to be someone we are not. My friend Zainab Njoki whose an amazing leadership coach and personal brand strategist said, “ Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgement, or before the world starts pushing you around telling you who you are and what you are supposed to do.” It takes a chunk of self-awareness and confidence to fit that description but it’s worth a try. The internal validation and freedom that comes with it are definitely worth the discomfort.

Sunny Bindra told us in his Sunday article last week that, “ there’s nothing to be gained by being a faded photocopy of someone else; there’s everything to play for in being the most vivid, most emphatic, most renowned practitioner of something unique.” Are you a photocopy of someone else? Kwanza a faded one.

Back to the Mara River. The moral of the story here is that life does have moments when we need to stall (I prefer calling it a tactical withdrawal) and plan how best to cross the river of our circumstances. But let’s not get stuck there, held back by limiting beliefs. Despite the risks (crocs) that lay ahead these animals had to take a chance and swim to greener pastures awaiting them on the other side. Their future depended on it. The stalling voice in our head often asks us what if we fail? Let’s counter that by asking (and even imagining), what if we don’t?

Wishing you a great weekend ahead with no stalling folks.