Recently I listened to my first sermon on you tube. I was referred to it by a pal who felt I needed to hear the message. The sermon was titled – Marked. It was by this African American modern day pastors who go on the pulpit with hi top sneakers and short trousers that look like they were borrowed from their kid brother. Try that in my presbyterian church here at your own risk. His name was Michael Todd and he delivered his message very well. His delivery of the sermon was like a gym workout. He must have covered a few kilometers walking up and down the stage while delivering his message. I was initially reluctant to listen to this message because of the stereotype I’ve held for a long time that a lot of this messages are more like performances than deep in content especially because of the loud talking and sweating that happens.

That sermon spoke to me because it somehow confirmed some things that have happened in my life recently. Todd was encouraging his congregation to be on the lookout and heed to the signs that they are marked by God for great things. And if they apply his message then they will have lives of purpose and impact. I have come to realize that the work I need to do to align to the future I desire is mostly internal. This is more difficult than external work which is mostly a to do list that you just tick the box. Internal work requires that I keep myself accountable as I do the work. I am to be both the law abiding citizen and the police at the same time. I could easily deceive myself that its ok to smoke weed and pass it as a law internally so that the police don’t arrest me. I believe ordering our private world will determine how orderly and successful our public or external world will be.

A point that stood out for me was on honor. Todd mentioned some things on honor that challenged me. Honoring the dishonorable takes extra grace for one to achieve. It’s funny how the timing of this message coincided with a dress down I received from a Mzee who chairs a board I sit on. Basically I was being accused of impropriety. It was hurtful hearing those accusations especially against the backdrop of affirmation that I had received a short while earlier of a job well done. I must say that I was surprised to have remained quiet throughout that meeting.

That was honor right there because my natural reaction would have been to hit back. I think I’m finally maturing pole pole. If you are marked you have to have the audacity to honor. This is like sowing seeds (of honor) in our present that we will reap in future. Folks, some injustices that happen to us require shalap as a reaction so that we can safeguard our blessings that are waiting ahead. Sometimes we secure our blessings by being silent and squander them by talking alot. I remember my Dad had a sign on his office door when he worked at the bank many years ago. It read – The more you talk the more you’re likely to sin. For us to live this way we have to allow our internal police to keep us (especially our mouths) in check.

Placing value on stuff we disagree with feels more difficult than learning a new language. Yet it’s what we are required to do sometimes. Todd also said that when we are marked, honor requires action. In addition to honoring the dishonorable we have to walk the honor talk. I like the part in the clip where he said, ” we honor up, we honor down, we honor all the way round’’. For us to live lives of impact we have to respect and honor everyone (and everything too) we interact with irrespective of their social status. I read somewhere that true character is revealed by how we treat folks who cannot do anything to and for us. This could be mainly folks below us in social and economic status. That’s honoring down which doesn’t come easy compared to honoring up (which mostly appears as sucking up) because we are after something. There is no way we can honor down if our internal cop is sleeping on the job.

It’s taken me a couple of days to recover from that Mzee’s attack because I felt his accusations were based on malice and not facts. Giving honor when it is not deserved will require us to reach deep within ourselves for the strength to do that. I’m glad I reacted to my attacker with loud silence. I finally responded to him last week through a long email stating all the facts and offering myself to the board for any questioning that may arise.  I hope to continue empowering my internal cop more so that I react to more situations honorably. Of course that also requires that I transact life as honorably as I possibly can lest my own cop arrests me. And his arrests and jail terms are more severe because they are psychological compared to the arrest by our boys and girls in blue here who throw you in and you get released after some time.

As I’ve confessed here before, I desire a future of public service so this experience I had with that Mzee could be the school of hard knocks that I need to go through. Folks let us continuously strive to cultivate honor in our lives for our future depends on it. It should be easier with the law (internal police) on our side.

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One thought on “Internal Police.”

  1. Boni says:

    Awesome! makes alot of sense…

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