I buy two newspapers in a week. Business Daily on Friday and Sunday Nation. The other days of the week I pick (or rather one of my baby sharks picks) the free copy of the People Daily on the way to school. We know we are on time when the kijana standing on the bump in the middle of the road has started giving them out. Sometimes we pass the bump before he has started. I think their brief is to start the gazeti distribution at 7 am sharp. So when we miss him that means we have left home earlier than usual. And that’s when a case is put forward to stop at Quickmart for snacks. When I ask what the reward is for. I’m told, “si we woke up early”. Who is ever rewarded for waking up? Si that should be your effort? Anyhow sometimes I stand my ground but they have a way of tuning me. Small lives matter indeed hehe.
One of the reasons I buy the Sunday Nation is to read Sunny Bindra’s article, Sunny Day. I like that his stories are people-centred and drawn from his everyday life and experiences. I have never met the man but I resonate with his style of writing because I feel it’s similar to mine. I was shocked to learn that last Sunday was his 1000th article. That’s twenty years of writing. Yaani I’m just a quarter way there in comparison yet there are times I feel like I have written for a lifetime. Life can be long but as long as we are living there will be stories to tell. So the typing continues.
One of the lessons Sunny has learnt over the two decades of writing is bounce ability. Resilience became the new buzzword thanks to corona. While change is the only constant in life, what intrigued me was the explanation he gave on how many of us deal with change. It caught my eye because it touched on transitions and leadership. I see this all the time, especially in leadership positions that are loud with perks and prestige.
Before I come to my main observation He said that “to bounce back we will need reserves – financial, but also some pools of patience and adaptability”. I wonder what would be the chances of bouncing back if one has depleted their financial reserves?
So onto my key takeaway. Sunny’s way of cultivating bounce ability is to avoid being deflated by adversity and not to be elated in victory. He continues, “take everything in good measure. Neither euphoric nor pathetic be. When times are good prepare for the bad ones to come. When they are bad, strengthen your ability to absorb and work through pain.”
That is one profound yet difficult lesson to live out. I once heard that handling failure is easier than success. When in trouble we retreat and try to work on our issues. There is nothing to shout to the world about when going through difficult times. You conserve your energy to deal with the complexities of life. Shida comes when things go well and life is sweet. It’s very difficult to not be elated in victory. We are about to see a mega show of that in August after our national elections.
The thing with success is ni kama bhangi (and I’m not supporting Wajackoyah the fifth here) hehe. It gets us high and delusional. We start seeing ourselves as better than others and think that this sweet state of affairs will last forever. We fail to see the signs of the inevitable and fast-approaching ending. That’s because we are enjoying life with our eyes closed and stepping on all the toes around us. We forget to take care of key relations that we will need after we exit these platforms of power and positions. I have seen some lonely and desolate souls after they have left power. No one has time for them because they had no time for others. What a sorry picture.
Sunny’s view sounds almost fatalistic when he says that when times are good we should start preparing for the bad. Initially, I would have found that negative because there is a place to enjoy the moment. But after my transition journey in my 40s, I tend to agree. Past success is the biggest threat to future success. Be careful folks when things are going well for you. That’s the time to be most alert on both maximizing the moment and also looking out for what will follow that season of abundance. And the only way to do that is by being sober in plenty to avoid tears when lack comes.
In this season of my life as I work on my second half to be full of impact and significance, I’m constantly reminding myself that whatever comes my way will also go away at some point. That’s helping me immerse myself because time is limited. But also loosening the grip while engaging because this season too will pass. The result of living that way is increased curiosity and that’s one of the few exemptions that we are allowed to hold onto.
And that’s the balance we need to seek and maintain if we are to maximise this ever-changing existence we call life. Staying hapo katikati.