Eyeballing.

It’s amazing how a situation can increase or decrease in size and effect when we focus on it. Many of us in life prefer to avoid facing a situation head on especially when it will make us uncomfortable. However, there are some among us for whom dealing with issues immediately is their default setting. My uncle, Lewis, is one of those guys. I think folks who confront issues as soon as they arise tend to go further in life and achieve more success.

I met Uncle Lewis about fourteen years ago when I was trying to convince mummy shark to board my 504 pickup and drive with me into the sunset of life. He was this tall, slim guy with swag. He even wore happy socks back then. I’d heard of him as a mkubwa in corporate Kenya. I’m not sure how he was missed out in Moi’s dream team in the 90s. Our friendship has grown over the years and Uncle Lewis has become more like my big bro. Despite his high position in corporate Kenya being the head of a big bank, he remains accessible whenever you need to see him.

A sign of remaining down to earth even when you are on top of your game is having one mobile phone. He only has one cell phone number that we all know of. Many guys get extra phone lines when their fortunes start changing for the better. Maybe it’s a Kenyan sign of success that one needs to be walking around with three phones. But not with Uncle Lewis. I’ve always seen him with one (though expensive) phone.

Last Saturday, close family and friends gathered at his church in Karura for a prayer service for him. Uncle Lewis is going to the UK in two weeks for treatment of some cancer that’s attacking his skin.  Luckily, it’s been found out early so chances of full recovery are very high. On Sato, he still had the bounce in his step even after the six rounds of chemo he’s done over the last several weeks.

That was the first time I was attending prayers for someone with cancer that aren’t a fundraising or when they are in critical condition. Uncle Lewis wanted guys to know that he’s going for treatment for this illness and he would like us to keep him in our prayers. In addition, he wanted his situation to challenge us to introspect and make adjustments to our lives for the better, whatever that may be. At the end of the service he thanked us all for coming and said he’s ready physically, emotionally and spiritually to face this situation and emerge victorious.

Folks I felt like I needed more help than Uncle Lewis yet I’m the one who had gone to encourage him. He demystified this cancer monster by coming out in the open even when he had a chance to just slip out of the country quietly under the guise of taking his kids to school. Uncle Lewis may not know this but his actions made me (and maybe a few others) view cancer and other challenges we face in life appear smaller and beatable. I believe many people get defeated in life not by the problems they face, but by the secrecy and aloneness with which they try to solve their issues. Loneliness should be categorised as a type of cancer too.

Of course we will feel exposed and vulnerable when we come out with our struggles and some folks may even be glad that we are suffering. Small minds. But it’s my strong belief that we attract much more support and even healing when people know our challenges, even from the most unlikely quarters. In addition, we encourage others in similar situations to soldier on, whether in private or in public. The benefits of disclosure far outweigh the disadvantages in a case like this.

We embraced Uncle Lewis and his beautiful family with prayers and love last Saturday afternoon and it felt really good. I once read a quote that said ‘If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone up.’ Uncle Lewis’s actions last Sato lifted many of us up. And will continue to do so even after he returns from the UK fit as a Kenyan runner.

He is almost 60 years old but I see his current situation in life as halftime, and he agrees with me. Just when he’s about to exit his longstanding and successful career at the bank to start another life, this illness pops up. It’s like a forced pit stop because top achievers like him don’t know how to take a break. I believe the good Lord forced him to pause so that he can recalibrate him for a second half of significance plus more success of course. Being a formula one fan, we can say he’s in a pit stop having his tyres replaced in readiness for a new winning lap ahead.

Marrying mummy shark has had many benefits over the years. A huge one for me is meeting Uncle Lewis and becoming his pal. As you proceed abroad for treatment Uncle, you may feel like life is being rough on you presently but be encouraged by the words of Aretha Franklin who said, “It’s the rough side of the mountain that’s the easiest to climb; the smooth side doesn’t have anything for you to hang on to.”

Keep eyeballing this disease until you defeat it. You have encouraged some of us to lock eyes with the challenges in our own lives. And always remember Mungu yuko na halali