My baby sharks are home for the long holidays. The holidays don’t feel long, though; we oversleep almost daily, and then suddenly it’s opening day again. Our food budget has shot through the roof. Eating has become the favourite pastime at home, while everyone’s busy on their gadgets. Food is our love language hehe. I remember what the holidays were like for me when I was my kids’ age. For starters, there was no social media. Instead, the closest thing we had to media of any kind was our black-and-white TV, which we would start watching at 4 PM when the Voice of Kenya (VOK) went live. We would sleep not long after, so there wasn’t much time for anything social at all. That was as far as our “social media” went. As for food, we had bottomless ugali, maziwa mala, and vegetables. Those were the good old days. I wonder what version of good old days my children will remember.
At my gym, there’s an endurance and strength training class at 6 AM. During the school holidays, I’m able to attend because there is no school drop-off, which means waking up at 5.15 AM. I like this class because it adds to the variety of my gym routine. And my body benefits. Think of it like paddling a boat; if you lean too hard into one side, the other side tips over. Keeping all four paddles moving together is what keeps the boat steady.
The first of the four B supplements that cannot be bottled is body, as I wrote about last week. There’s a lot of focus on our bodies and physical health as we age. In fact, COVID pushed a lot of people into exercise and the outdoors. I’d see folks out on the streets running or walking almost daily. Others took up cycling. I remember one time when keep-fit equipment had run out at one of the major sports outlets.
Our bodies are the vehicles that carry us toward our purpose. We focus on them because progress is easy to see when we look in the mirror or weigh ourselves. The numbers are simple to read and track, which is exactly why so many of us obsess over our bodies and disregard the three other B supplements. I was that guy when I started going to the gym last year. I’d see guys with huge thoraxes and six packs and wished I could get to that size too. So I constantly reminded my instructor that we were there to strength train and, in the process, build muscle. She would laugh and tell me, “Pole pole, Mr Lucas, tutafika.” Folks, we need to remember there are other parts of ourselves to work on too. There’s no point being the fittest guy in the hood if you’re idling everywhere else.
The next B supplement is behaviour. Our bodies respond to what we do repeatedly, not just once in a while. So we have to build habits that actually stick if we want a life that pays off. The right environment and routines make that far easier. What do you want to cultivate, folks? Are you in an environment that enables that growth, or one that sabotages it? A key behaviour to highlight here is our self-talk. According to A Study of One: The Longevity Manifesto by Derek Gehl and Barbara Waxman, research shows that 80% of self-talk is negative, which leads to chronic stress. For me, that shows up as fake humility—dismissing or downplaying my own positive attributes and accomplishments. I need to change this behaviour and take my own medicine literally, hehe.
The third supplement B is belonging — relationships, community, and connection. There’s no point working on our bodies without a compelling reason. That often lies in our relationships. For instance, I want to live long and healthy to see my kids grow, leave the nest, and go build their own nests. I’m privileged to have a good amount of social capital, and I desire to keep using it for many years to come. Being popular and bedridden might keep people at your bedside for a while, but it won’t let you impact lives the way being healthy and active in your community would. To belong fully, our behaviours and body need to cooperate.
Folks, do you have people in your life worth extending your life for? If you do, then you will take these supplements faithfully, just as the doctor ordered, each supplement three times a day. In fact, here an overdose won’t kill us. hehe. It may just be what some of us need. This manifesto says that isolation will kill you faster than obesity and inactivity. Waah, it’s like belonging is more important than working on our bodies. My late mentor once told me that our generation is at risk of making loneliness our pandemic. We’ve got work to do here, folks.
Let’s build those key connections and keep them warm and positive. A caveat here: do not confuse transactional or ‘deal’ friends with real friends. Men are usually more prone to think of their business relations as their near and dear ones. Until job katikas and the shock reveals itself. I like how Derek puts it, “Loved ones aren’t a nice to have. They are the load-bearing walls that bring meaning into your life.” How are the walls of your life holding up? Are they strong and steady or full of gaping cracks that may bring the house down at the slightest life tremor? Can your walls (of belonging) help you survive a life quake? Think about that for a moment.
The fourth supplement B is becoming. This one ties the previous three together. It’s like the super supplement of the four. We are doing this to live longer and healthier, but what are the extra years for? That’s where purpose, legacy, and significance reside. If you have a purpose that’s worth dying for, then you will live longer because these four B supplements will be a daily part of your life. Without purpose and reason for being, then the behaviour, body, and belonging will be just for maintenance for a life that we are not actually living.
I want my mission in life to be the motivation that keeps me taking my four B supplements. Folks, we should work on our bodies, our behaviours, and belonging so that we can ensure that we become who Sir God created us to become. What we do with the space we occupy on earth is the rent we are paying for being here.
The key thing is to integrate all four supplements, however imperfectly. That gives us the best chance to live longer and better. There’s no point being healthy and lonely or full of purpose but sick. May we find a way to balance the boat with all four components. Remember to take your supplements from this point on. We need them especially in midlife.