There’s a proverb in my mother tongue that, when translated directly, says, ‘friendship is footsteps.’ It means that to nurture good friendships and keep them healthy, we need to invest in them, and a key investment is time. My buddy Chris says the same thing differently: friendship is expensive. Even when he’s made us go out of our way for him, and I feel inconvenienced, he doesn’t apologise. He reminds me that friendship is expensive bila apology. We’ve come a long way, so he’s allowed to behave this way because he knows his turn to pay it back is often around the corner.
My brother from another mother, Bob, has been upcountry in Oyugis for most of this year. He’s been working on a mjengo for his mum. The boys and I have been saying that we’ll visit to inspect the site and move a door or window. That’s what he and our other pals did when I was doing my own construction. What begins as a visit to celebrate progress turns into changing plans for the mjengo. It all comes from a good place.
He’s closer to finishing the house, so I decided to hitch a ride down to Oyugis with him while he was in town. Another reason I was motivated to come see his mum’s new home is that she’s my friend and reads my blog often. She might easily be my oldest reader right now. Beneath all those reasons was the chance to get out of town and take a road trip into rural Kenya. I love that shags feeling. Slow life, fresh air, local food, and just being surrounded by nature and fresh produce straight from the shamba. Even that smoky tea brewed over a wood fire tastes sweeter than a single malt whiskey hehe.
We drove down last Sunday, catching up and enjoying the scenery. When we stopped in Narok for a break, I missed the Maasai Mara because whenever I’m at the Artcaffe there, I’m usually heading to or returning from a photo safari. We continued through Bomet, Sotik, and into Homa Bay County, where Oyugis is.
My brother has done an amazing job with the mjengo. Then add that he’s Luo, so there are all these cute fixtures and details that he’s put into the house. I even told him that Mum will need an orientation before she moves in. She’ll need a user’s manual to live there, hehe. Good job, my brother. Your blessings in heaven have just piled up tenfold for doing this for your mum alongside your siblings. And I’m sure Sir God will allow you to cash in on some of those blessings here on Earth. That big car with custom plates is loading.
Speaking of big cars with custom plates, I was impressed to see several high-end vehicles in that town. One even had custom plates with ‘Singapore’ as the registration. I know our president has told us that Kenya aims to be like Singapore soon. Well, it seems Singapore is already in Kenya or parts of Kenya at least. Even the restaurant where we ate is called Gold Pearl, complete with #Singapore, hehe.
Speaking of gold, folks here are mining it quite a bit. The mornings used to be quiet and peaceful until recently, when the sound of stone crushers began breaking the silence at sunrise. I noticed even the soil and murram underground have a red, shiny colour. Apparently, all you need to do is start mining, and there’s a good chance you’ll find some ounces of gold. I bet that’s where some of those big cars come from, for those who struck gold, literally.
This is a land of contrasts—from the locals sitting on gold reserves in their shambas while struggling financially, to the weather itself. The weather is like clockwork here. The sun rises brightly, guaranteeing a hot morning until around lunchtime. Then, at around 2 pm, it rains. Workers too follow the weather’s routine. They start early before it’s too hot, and then go for lunch at 2 pm when it’s raining. After that, they work until about 6 pm to make up for lost time.
So life here seems predictable as far as weather patterns go. Yet it’s unpredictable as far as the future of many people is concerned. There’s a natural resource sitting right beneath their feet—so close, yet so far because of the immense effort required to extract it.
I’m not sure what all these extremes of life represent, but it got me thinking about our own gold deposits. Many of us walk through life knowing or sensing strongly that we have deposits in us that would change our fortunes and lives if we started mining them. Fortunately, we don’t need to have a ton of cash and effort to reach the gold within us. We just need to sit with ourselves long enough to figure out what it is we want and start in that direction. That first step to start, followed by a few other small steps, will get us closer to the gold.
Unlike the gold being mined in Oyugis with no guarantees, the one in us is definitely there, seated as idle competence, waiting to be mined and activated. Those are my reflections as I sit under a mango tree in Bob’s shags. Maybe it’s time I moved away before a mango falls on my head as a sign to stay here and try mining gold too, hehe. Start mining the gold in you, folks. You need it, and so do we all.
Oh, and thanks to everyone who joined my webinar last Friday. That was a good start to mining the gold in our lives as we transition through midlife. You made space to ask who you are beneath the titles and roles, and that took courage. Let’s continue mining on November 27th for webinar three. We will explore our transition stories and what they mean for us as we navigate the second half of life. You can register now here: https://mula.bz/p/743bcb6e1f
