Transitions Prefer Silence.

Money and success are cousins, especially the success that comes from living a meaningful life by doing what we love and helping people with our gifts. We often hear that we should hone our craft and excel at what God created and intended us to do. Once we have perfected our craft, then those who need it will come shopping for it, and money will be the by-product.

I was preparing for a workshop on transitions this week and did a quick refresher on the different stages. There are three main ones: endings, which is where we start the transition; the neutral zone, or what I prefer to call the place of nothingness. This is where we reset, reboot, or reformat before a new version of ourselves emerges. Then, that new person ushers in the third stage: new beginnings.

As I prepared for the workshop, I was reminded that the success of each of these stages is highly dependent on silence, or perhaps the absence of noise and distractions. When I was ending my business of 20+ years, I remember many of the exit signs (more like feelings) nudging my heart and mind. To interrogate those nagging thoughts and emotions, I would wake up mostly between 1 AM and 3 AM and try to tune in to what the message was.

While running my business, I didn’t pay attention to the signs that the exit was near—it was too noisy. I was busy looking for the next deal, so I dismissed my smouldering discontent until it became a fire that consumed me when I got into my forties. Folks, if you are at the end of a season, pursue silence. You increase the chances of getting your next clues or instructions during that time.

The transition zone was difficult. It felt more like a war zone, yet nothing much seemed to go on there. Finding stuff to do risks compromising the long and seemingly loud inactivity because most of us don’t do ‘nothing’ well, especially high-impact people. I would often get so restless in the neutral zone because my external environment shouted that I should be doing something.

The fact that I’m one of those guys who thrive on projects, one after another, made it all worse. Project ‘Nothing’ was very difficult for me to execute because it had no deadline or instructions to follow. When all my attempts at fast-tracking this phase failed, I surrendered and just sat it through. This is when I started seeking solace for long periods, and began feeling and viewing the formation of the season of life that was loading.

Sir God finally caught my attention and slowly started showing me where I was headed. Though I think He had been ready and waiting all along—until I got to the end of my botched attempts at busying myself again. Getting away from busy (read noisy) places and people on the fast lane helped me here. I compared myself to others less and looked more inwardly at what was going on within me. That again required a lot of silence, which my photo safaris in the Mara provided in plenty.

The neutral zone is probably the most restless yet crucial part of the transition process. We must embrace silence to hear more and resist the temptation to fast-forward it. If we give in, we get stuck in the transition. Most folks often mess up here. Perhaps that’s why a whole book has been written about it: Stuck in Halftime by Bob Buford.

Once we have successfully navigated the ending and the neutral zone, a new beginning beckons. Again, I prefer to work at it in silence and let success make the noise. We can easily sabotage a new beginning if we go evangelising about the new season we are in. Of course, we should let our new stakeholders (or destiny helpers) know. When I exited my events business, I wasn’t sure what I’d do next. But I felt I had to leave one station and close that door before another one opened. With time and observation of happenings around me (using both my outer and inner eyes), I noticed coaching, and it drew me in. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t talk much about it. I just processed it quietly and asked a few folks some relevant questions to tick boxes they knew nothing about.

When I finished testing if this coaching thing was real as my next purpose career, I stopped getting ready to act and acted. I signed up for my coaching diploma, and even during that period of gumbaro, I didn’t shout about what I was doing. Only those folks I met while in school got to know. I only made it public when I graduated. I like it when folks surprise us with breaking news of their huge achievement. I find it more admirable to work hard in silence and let victory shout at the right time.

This silent strategy also keeps the naysayers at bay. We just need to get the blessing or confirmation from a few near and dear ones—the personal board of directors, as I call them. Once that is done, we roll up our sleeves and get to work.

The reflections from that workshop confirmed that great strides are made in silence and while out of view. We are approved in private first, before we get on stage to unleash our gift on others. So, folks, whichever stage of transition you are in, it’s important to make minimal noise. The clues and directions, just like making money, don’t like noise. Maybe that’s why the two are connected. We sharpen our skills in silence; then, when we come out, the chums find us and chase us.

Even the Good Book encourages us: “Be still and know that I am God.”