Stop Failing Familiar.

As some of you may know, I attended the Duke of York, aka Lenana School. I feel like it was a social investment I made back then that has earned me some bragging rights now, many years later. We all know our Alliance brothers (and their funny green and grey uniform) who don’t allow us peace with their ‘slogan’: “I went to Alliance.” Changez was our school’s popular nickname. On some days, Moi Nairobi Girls (or Kabz) was our sister school, while on others it was Kenya High School, also known as Boma.

For those in the school choir like me, we had a third option to choose from: Precious Blood Riruta. That was the one that stole my heart. One time I got late for an evening exam, having been left behind at Precious Blood after choir practice. Let’s just say I was so keen on ensuring we got the tuning right for the song we were rehearsing that I didn’t notice the time moving, hehe. Since Lenana was a boarding school, we would sit for tests after dinner. I remember how I risked my life walking through the Riruta hood back to our school compound.

Changez even had a golf course that was later turned into paddocks. I think that’s where golf first started pulling me in, although I didn’t play it at Lenana. As “rabbles,” that was a luxury way above our pay grade. The closest we’d get was being a caddy. We were busy trying to stay alive. Studying usually happened in our spare time; the main focus was serving our seniors and making sure we didn’t cross any of them. Thanks to Sir God, the bullying didn’t break us; here we are now, proud Laibons!

Rugby as a sport and a culture defined Lenana for years. It was always breaking news when we faced our archrivals, Nairobi School (aka Patch), in a rugby duel. It was our equivalent of the Mashemeji Derby; we lived for those moments. It may as well have been part of the syllabus when you joined Form One. I still remember those 5 am practice sessions on the field back in 1989.

One time, a guy with a chest the size of a door and a voice like a truck climbing up a hill ordered me to run into him. Supposedly, the lesson was how to tackle your opponent. Keep in mind that I have always been a skinny fellow, but I went at him with all my 70 kilos. What happened next was straight out of a Boyz II Men song: ‘I saw the sun, the moon, the rivers and the lake all in one’. The guy lifted me into the air, dropped me to the ground, and I became one with earth. Because it was dark—just before dawn—his big, dirty fingers missed my head and ploughed right into my nostrils.

After that training, which was more like a seminar on how to die in boarding school, I vowed never to attempt to play rugby ever again. I believe that decision is the reason I am still alive today, hehe. It was also responsible for my motivation to go into sports that don’t involve physical contact, like golf, running, and hiking. Despite my divorce from rugby, the sport still defined how we interacted as long as you were in these rugby-playing schools. Plus, it propped up your CV if you were a rugby star. Those were the influencers of those days.

Now, a few decades after leaving Changez, I’m interacting with some of those influencers on life transitions. These were my seniors back then, but now they’re more like my peers in a way (said with all due respect, of course). Two of them have crossed my timeline recently. Pablo Murunga, who was in Patch and Kenneth Thimba aka KT, who is simply the better of the two because he went to the better school—Changez hehe. The healthy rivalry continues.

I met Pablo last year, and we’ve done some good work creating spaces for men to gather and tackle life better, just like they do in rugby. He is unashamedly owning his scars and turning them into stars for both himself and other men. On the other hand, KT and I reconnected at Limuru Country Club when we both took up golf almost 15 years ago. We lost touch a few years back—life happened. But then last week, he posted some reflections on LinkedIn that spoke volumes.

The post was titled Same Forest, Different Monkeys. It spoke about rugby (he was one of those superstars from Changez), business, life, politics and relationships. He likens the rugby we play to be like the maandamano that we have become infamous for as a country. If we had strategised better, we would have won more matches, both on and off the pitch.

On business, he emphasises the need for not just processes but also following those processes. Reminds me of how we grew up seeing commissions of enquiries handing over bulky reports to the president after a major incident in the country. And that was the end of the inquiry. No implementation. As for life, relationships and politics, I’ll let you read his post and reflect for yourself.

The hard truth from KT is this: if we don’t study history, life will keep handing us the same test—only harder and more expensive. We will end up with the same mistakes year in, year out. At a personal level, what tests are you recycling, folks? What do you need to learn quickly before you get broke paying an even higher price for the same lesson you missed?

Those are some of the gems of wisdom that can only come from a Laibon (Lenana student), hehe. His final word was a mic drop moment for me. He advises that “if we must fail, then let’s fail forward. But for heaven’s sake, let’s stop failing familiar. The universe has enough drama – you don’t need to direct your own sequel!”

Thanks, KT, for sharing your wisdom. You have tackled our minds just as well as you did on the rugby pitch back in the day. Your post was Nothing but the Best, just like our school motto—Nihil Praeter Optimum. Live long, sir, and please keep sharing more! I’m sure Pablo and his Patch friends need it, but they’re probably too proud to admit it, hehe.