In Philippians 4:11, the Apostle Paul says, ‘I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.’
Paul was writing this letter from prison to the church in Phillipi. He was explaining that true contentment is learned through life experiences and not just ideal external circumstances. At midlife, we have been through our fair share of experiences, some good and others not so good. Many of these experiences have shaped who we are and our outlook on life. Some of us are content in this season of our lives. We have accepted the failures and setbacks we faced along the way and are trying our best to turn them into assets.
No one is asking for perfection here, just acceptance and continued effort towards the people we want to become. I like the fact that midlife in particular permits us to go at our own speed. There are no speed limits set for us; we set them for ourselves because, hopefully, we know ourselves better by now. But then again, maybe as we grow older, we drive slower so the speed cameras just wink at us as we pass hehe.
The equanimity in Paul’s outlook is a trait I desire, and was well embodied by the late Nelson Mandela. When things are going well, I’m happy and content (that’s the easy part); but when things get tight, I want to accept those circumstances too, and endure without falling apart or complaining too much. I don’t think Paul meant that we should live in denial when things get thick, no. We should be realistic as we work through the challenges while also maintaining the view that this, too, shall pass and it perhaps remind ourselves that it could have been worse.
If Paul’s adaptability were a product, many of us would need to buy it. Some of us in midlife are faking a season of plenty while drowning in a season of lack. This came out clearly at the last Silver Fox event, where chaps admitted that while the trappings of power are sweet, they can quickly turn into traps when things aren’t so sweet. How can we be like the apostle Paul—remaining content, without losing our ambition, regardless of whether our hands are full or empty?
Nelson Mandela had that same versatility. He was described as being perfectly at home socialising in Soweto and yet quite comfortable dining with the Queen of England. I want to be like that.
Folks, what lessons has life taught you that have made you as adaptable as Paul? When we were younger, we had an idealistic, linear outlook on how life should unfold. And there’s nothing wrong with that. As life has advanced, we have come to learn (sometimes bitterly) that life is non-linear. It may seem like we are making progress in one area while sliding backwards in another. In addition, there could be areas that just feel stagnant. When all these facets converge at midlife, we need to evaluate them with a little grace for ourselves. Life didn’t give us a dry run to prepare. It’s like parenting, running a business, or getting married; you learn by doing.
These roles take a lot from us and even define us. We don’t give that much thought to it because we’re caught up in doing our best at each of these roles. Then midlife comes, and something in us awakens and forces us to look deeper within ourselves. We start interrogating who we are beyond what we do. Therein lie clues that could surprise us, but the sad reality is that many half-timers are scared to peer into what looks like Pandora’s box, forgetting that inside lies a chest of valuable clues rather than catastrophe.
In my transition coaching work, I help folks at this intersection clear accumulated baggage and plot a fresh trajectory for their second half of life. A common pattern I observe is fear. Driven and seemingly self-assured folks are often scared of looking inward, yet with honest introspection and a clear plan, we can uncover our purpose waiting inside. It’s been there all along; we were just too busy doing life to see it.
Our next webinar on 30th October will shed more light on that. I invite you to join me as we explore together. If you are nervous about searching within, I encourage you to sign up anyway—tuko wengi and there is safety in numbers, hehe. Your second half of significance and impact awaits, and I bet it will come with some of Paul’s equanimity—so that whatever life brings, we handle it with calm, wisdom, and acceptance. That is my prayer for us all.
Sign up below
Webinar 2 is now open for registration.
Beneath the titles, roles and achievements, who is the person you have been all along? Many of us in Africa reach midlife carrying the weight of everyone's expectations: family, community, career. We rarely stop to ask who we are underneath it all.That is what we will unpack in Webinar 2: The African Midlife Dilemma, the next session in the Success to Significance series.
Friday, 30th October12:00 – 1:00 PM (EAT)
Live on Zoom
KES 2,000
Missed Webinar 1? You are still very welcome to join. Know a leader who needs this conversation? Forward it their way.
Register Here