Live Memorial.

I once read a quote that said that men who allow themselves to be influenced by their wives live longer and happier lives. That played out last Sunday on my birthday. Mummy Shark and her aides lengad (ignored) my wishes to let my birthday slide quietly. That was my wish but I was dismissed politely and got on with the program. In hindsight, I’m glad she ignored my request for I wouldn’t have asked for a more special, meaningful and fun evening to usher in my 50s.

The theme thanks to my sister Shiro was safari adventure. It was in recognition of my love for the outdoors. Nature photography and hiking. Invites were sent out a few weeks earlier and I didn’t know many details apart from the venue and a few other logistics. I arrived at Matteos, an Italian restaurant in Karen towards 6 pm with my agemate (we are both March babies) Mike Eldon who is 30 years my senior. He is such a cool old friend. Folks old is truly gold especially when you have the right kind of old. One that builds you up.

We got to Matteos and met 50 or so friends and family who represent various areas of my life. It felt so good being celebrated and seeing almost my entire life in a tent. It has taken 50 years to have these people in my life, I contemplated. Some have been around longer than others but last Sunday they were all important to me as I clocked half a century of existence. I salimiad (greeted) everyone as we danced in celebration then sat down for dinner and some reflections. My buddy Bob was the MC and he did a spectacular job.

Life is easier when we operate from our gifts and gets even better when we allow those in our lives to benefit from those gifts. That’s what my brother Bob did. He held everyone’s attention for the entire evening with his jabs at me combined with his Luo mannerisms and big English. It was hilarious and special at the same time. Asante cousin Bob, maybe I can attempt to be the MC at your 60^th. I have a few years of practice left hehe…

The speeches began with my mum, auntie, my Mzee Mike Eldon, my mentor coach and big brother George then onto my relatives and friends. My bro and best man each sent a video clip from Majuu (abroad). I sat there listening to what everyone said and it’s a feeling I cannot describe. I wondered if this is how people feel at their funerals. Then I remembered you cannot feel anything at your funeral. It’s the people who attend who feel. You get the point folks…

It did feel somewhat of a memorial or tribute about me only that I was present to hear it. I was deeply moved and surprised that I have contributed positively to all these folks in one way or another. I left that place with a few takeaways. Firstly time does fly so make the most of it. There were friendships of more than 30 years in the tent. Most were at least 10 years plus. There are few things more precious than long-life friendships. They stand the test and drama of life in a way I can’t explain. I feel very lucky to have a number of those. But then again it takes a friend to make a friend. So be that pal we don’t want to let go, folks.

Secondly, keep doing you and keep doing good just because you can. Without waiting for or expecting applause. It all came out so beautifully when folks mentioned contributions I’ve made in their lives and I couldn’t even recall some of the said deeds. Kindness is the new gangster for sure. Swami Kriyanada brings this aspect out well in his book, Living Wisely. He says. “Trust life even if you cannot trust people. For human nature is unreliable, but life itself is ruled by immutable law. Right action leads always, in the end, to victory”. And don’t we all desire a victorious life?

Lastly, let’s tell and show people their value when they can appreciate it. Hearing what people said that evening has motivated me to be more and do more for myself and for those who cross my path. We live eternally through what we pour into others when we still have a chance to. Because even after we exit this world what we did for others lives on.

That is a birthday dinner I will remember and treasure for a long time. It was the perfect launch pad to usher me into my second half-century. I’m eager to do better and continue having a good time doing it. May we treasure relationships as we advance in this life folks. For that is what will count in our sunset years and finally when the sun sets on us.

I remain indebted to everyone who has featured in my life so far, including the ones I didn’t like for they too have played a part in my character development hehe.  And don’t all things work together for good eventually?

I have often been asked what this blog will be called now that I’m no longer a man at 40. Well, after some thought I figured a man at 50 sounded like a replacement for the 40s blog. I wanted more of a continuation so it shall be a man after 40. How does that sound to you guys? That way we just keep writing until the fingers fall off hehe. The blog is also refreshed to be easier on the eye. You can even book a slot if going through a transition and need to chat. Please keep me company along the way good people. We are told misery loves company but I promise not to be miserable.

Let the 50s Begin……..