Assertive.

Happy New Year, folks! I’m excited to witness the dawn of another year. As I begin writing this first article of 2026, sunrays are streaming through my window, bringing a warmth that thaws the heart and mind of the past manenos that harden life. The Thika palm tree outside my house has shiny green leaves that remind me of my primary school biology class, where we studied how chlorophyll forms when the leaves are fed by water and the sun’s rays. The leaves—in fact, the whole tree—seem to be smiling, reaching towards the sun as if attempting to hug it.

That’s the morning vibe I wish for all of us this year. Despite the jolts that life may deliver this year, I hope we still see and feel the warmth of the sun and that of our loved ones, and the beauty of life. I hope we will cultivate ways of allowing that to thaw any hardened feelings of bitterness, anger, or unnecessary baggage that we may be carrying. Travel light, folks.

One way to achieve this might be to choose a ‘word for the year’ that will remind you of how you want to live, and keep you from being derailed. I got the idea of a ‘word for the year’ from a mentor who was a lighthouse during my halftime transition. Over the last few years, I have chosen a word to define my year and influence my thoughts and actions—like a New Year’s resolution list, but distilled into one word. I have often approached this task from a position of lack or focus on improvement; the hyperachiever in me can’t help it, hehe.

During my Christmas break ‘personal AGM’, I reflected on the past year and was happy with my performance. I had three goals: physical fitness, the ‘Year of my Bestseller’ and room for detours. I achieved all of them to varying degrees. I have been going to the gym the entire year, which is a big deal, seeing as I had never previously been a gym guy.

I started my book last year and will probably extend that goal to this year. There were a few detours that I loved, key among them visiting the Shompole wilderness to photograph animals in the dead of night. I also took Mummy Shark swimming in Singapore and won another photo competition with my ‘Smiling Hyena’ photo. Folks, when we leave ample space for life to surprise us, it usually does so in the most unlikely of ways. We colour our lives more when we plan less.

This is the second year of my fifties, and so far, I’d say my ‘Fortune 50s’ (as I have labelled this decade) are progressing well. I’m defining fortune in the experiences I’m enjoying and the growth I am embracing. Consequently, I feel that being assertive is a skill I want to nurture more. You see, as a pleaser, I tend to keep quiet when I should speak up, mostly to keep the peace. But that’s usually a fake peace because while the other party takes my silence as agreement, deep within, my spirit is accusing me of betrayal.

I admire folks who speak their mind at the right time and in the right way, based on the situation. It’s funny that while I am largely confident, I occasionally stall and sell out. I have tried practising the five-second rule by Mel Robbins to avoid analysis paralysis. In her book, ‘The 5 Second Rule’, she encourages us to count backwards from 5 to 1, then say or do what we need to. That’s supposed to help us not cave in to our own doubts and short-change ourselves. It works sometimes and fails a bit more often than I’d like. Then, when I think of the response I should have given in hindsight, it’s crystal clear but time bad.

Therefore, practising being assertive this year should help me on the journey of saying the right thing, at the right time, to the right people, and in the right way. Just as I obsessed over being ‘where my feet are’ last year, I will need to constantly maintain the awareness to be true to myself and others in my interactions. The benefits of our authenticity, folks, are not just for us; they are for those we are speaking to as well.

In fact, authenticity is one of the main competencies of emotional intelligence. To me, being assertive is a close relative of being authentic, as I often find authentic people to be assertive in their own unique way. I feel fake when I don’t speak up, and that risks me coming off as untrustworthy. When we are not authentic, we fail to demonstrate emotional intelligence. On the other hand, when we are authentic, then folks perceive us as genuine, which I like.

Folks, may we walk our talk and talk our walk more consistently this year. The world needs genuine folks who are true to themselves but who also show compassion in their interactions. Being assertive is not about bullying people and lording our opinions over them; that’s just bad manners. However, if we start by being assertive with ourselves, then it will overflow to others in a way that enhances safe spaces in relationships, and perhaps even encourages more folks to come out of their shells and thrive.

It’s uncomfortable already, but I’ll give it a go. What’s your word for the year, guys?