LIFE’S A SCRATCH CARD

Father’s Day was on Sunday, but I have decided to extend it for the whole week. This is partly because we are hosting our Silver Fox event at Karen Country Club tomorrow. My fellow wazee-vijana and I will gather to interrogate our relationship with failure and share how we handle it. Regrets are inevitable in life, so instead of running from them, it’s best to face and deal with them, however uncomfortable it feels. I look forward to the conversation, especially since it’s about midlife reflections, and aligns with my personal mission to help others live meaningfully.

The dots in life often connect backwards. I remembered that when I met my buddy Davy for a swallow earlier this week. We both love golf and have found ourselves deeply involved in its administration in this country. I was venting about how hii kazi ya kanisa (volunteer work) is never-ending, wondering when I would finally cash in on it. Impact is great, but it is even sweeter when it produces some chums. He calmly reminded me that my job is not to figure that out. Rather, I should continue to do my best and leave the rest to Sir God, for He knows best.

I have realised that most of what we enjoy in life comes after paying the price, unless of course it’s some form of magendo (corruption) where one pays after enjoying the loot. That often bears bitter fruit, so I wouldn’t advise it,

Many of us labour in silence, carrying burdens and responsibilities that only we can see and feel. No one cheers you on or notices until you fail; that’s when you suddenly attract people’s attention. The default setting for many people is to ignore when we are holding things together and only notice when things go wrong. They reason that it’s your job to hold it together and see no cause to cheer you on, sadly.

Being Father’s Day week (does that make sense by the way hehe), I want to salute the chaps who quietly keep the lights on for their families, businesses, communities and themselves. You are the unsung heroes of today, the current Mau Mau, if I may make it more dramatic, hehe. Parenting is one area where this shows up. I will say here that many women deserve to be wished a happy Father’s Day this week for the job they do with their children and families. For all you ladies standing in the gap, hats off to you. We appreciate you sana. But just for this week, allow me to give the dads their flowers.

A while back, I read Praying Circles Around The Lives Of Your Children by Mark Batterson. It was part of my quest to do right by my baby sharks in the hope that one day, when they are grown and gone, I will look back and see how well the dots connected. I really wish Sir God could give us leakage into the future sometimes, just a sneak peek to confirm we are on the right track. That’s where faith comes in, I suppose.

In the first chapter, Mark says that the word ‘diaper’ spelt backwards is ‘repaid.’ Imagine that. That diaper stage in parenting is never fun. When my baby sharks were little, we would put a fresh diaper on them, only for it to be soiled a minute later. I saw that as the equivalent of dishing out fifty-bob notes every few minutes. I’m glad we are past that stage. But parenting never ends. The moment you celebrate getting through one stage, the next one eagerly awaits you with its challenges. Now we are dishing out more 50 bobs to teenagers sigh. Maybe parenting is the only job that you get with zero experience, and you can’t be fired once you are hired.

I now appreciate the sacrifices my parents made for me, now that I, too, am a parent. Likewise, our kids will not appreciate what we are doing for them until they are older and wiser. That is the grind that life is made of. It’s like using a prepaid airtime card. You have to buy it, and then scratch it to reveal the long string of digits to key into your phone. Only then can you enjoy the airtime.

Folks, many things in life operate on a ‘pay now, enjoy later’ model. It is easy to give up when the scratching seems endless, making us question if it is even worth it. It helps to remember that anything worthwhile in life requires playing the long game. The journeys of parenting, career, health and good relationships all take significant time to blossom. And even then, there are no guarantees. We have to find what would keep us going. For me, being a dad is something I’m deeply proud of, and that keeps me pouring into my children even when the tank is empty. I guess you have to love a job genuinely to be good at it.

Despite our many failures and regrets, folks, our worst mistakes can double as our greatest opportunities. So, there is hope to keep going and making more dots that will join beautifully later. Luckily, it’s in our power to decide whether we will keep joining the dots or turn them into a full stop.

One way to keep scratching at life without giving up is by finding a community. The shared airtime is even sweeter later as you chapa story. i hope we can grow that community tomorrow.

See you kesho, gents. There are still a few slots remaining so be that last minute kenyan and sign up hehe…