From The Mouth Of Babes.

There is this quote people use when encouraging others to have kids or when psyching themselves up to have one. Bringing a child into the world is deeply life-altering and scary too. At least that was my experience. I knew I wanted to be a dad early in life because I love children, four boys to be precise hehe. Now I know man plans and God laughs.

Maybe I did encourage myself with that quote to convince myself that even though I didn’t have it all figured out, we would be good so let’s just get the baby. The quote in Swahili says that every child is born with their plate. That’s to mean that provision for every child born into this world has already been apportioned. Now after several years of being a dad, I add a rider that the plate is usually empty. The plate may come with the baby alright but the parent has to work hard to fill it up with food.

Parenting is a contact sport both in being physically available for our children and also working hard to ensure they are covered in life. That said though I wonder if we overdo it sometimes, this providing thing. If we do all for our kids then we rearing consumers. If we let them figure some things out on their own then we make creators. So wazazi let’s do all we can to guide but leave our kids to chart their path.

Despite the huge responsibilities that come with being a father it has been life-changing and maybe even saving at some points along this adulting journey. Most of the nights in my 40s I have been up worrying about the effects of my halftime transitions on my family. That has been a lot of pressure but weirdly it’s a pressure I’d rather have than not. During covid my baby sharks were my anchor, probably even kept me sane by giving me a reason to be here. That online homeschooling was intense but I drowned myself in it to feel useful. I had nothing to offer with my business shut but time. I hope it made a dent in their growing minds and souls, that Daddy showed up even though he was as clueless as a deer in the headlights.

Jesus encouraged us to be like children if we want to succeed in this life and beyond. He and I both love kids. What a coincidence hehe. I can relate because of the random words and deeds that come from my baby sharks. They can read a letter while it’s still in the envelope i.e sense when something is up even when we try to put an appearance. I’ve been experiencing a drought of sorts currently. Most of my coaching clients are wrapping up the year and planning to resume in January. Plus I have completed a two-year project that’s yet to start giving me returns.

Like any guy (especially a father) the pressure builds fast because our mandate is to provide for those called by our name and I take great pride in doing that. Even the Good Book says that those who don’t take care of their people are worse than unbelievers. That’s harsh wah. So my after-40 baby (who turns 7 this coming Sunday) told me she had a song to sing for me at breakfast one morning this week. This girl just warms my heart. I called her the pride of my estate when she was born. I try to entertain all her random ideas. I imagine she will soon get too cool to sing for her dad so wacha I enjoy it now.

She started this song about not worrying and I have been asking her to repeat it every morning this week. Folks when a man has a daughter who sings for him then in his eyes she’s a permanent Grammy award winner. It’s like Bobo sensed my anxiety and decided to reassure me. Some of the lines I remember are;

“have a little faith it will be ok, it will be alright”,

it’s a brand new day and the future is bright,

put one foot in front of the other and keep walking down the road,

one step at a time is the way to go.

I think Sir God wanted to pass this message and sent the person who grabs my attention. We play a losing game when we think we are shielding our kids from stuff we go through. Those big eyes and tender hearts see and sense right through us like an X-ray machine. Folks, could it be that sometimes those we toil for the most want us to take it easy too? Maybe my girl wants her dad more than what her dad can give her.

May we have the wisdom to get the right balance. Take care of our people the best we can but also allow them to take care of us how they decide to. We can be so used to giving care that we forget and ignore how to receive love back. Life is best traveled on a two-way traffic road folks. And even more special the road trip when done with our near and dear ones.

Thank you for the encouragement, my little drama queen. Daddy will continue keeping one foot in front of the other and it will be ok eventually. In fact, it is already okay with you, your siblings, and mummy shark on this journey. Let’s pump up the volume for that soundtrack while on this journey of life. One step at a time is the way to go folks.