Start Where You Are.

I’m struggling to keep up with the overflow of information I’m receiving on my gadgets. I’ve had this Dell laptop for more than five years that I share with my first born baby shark (the heir of my estate) as most of her homework is online. There are times when I feel like it is overheating and needs to be used while seated on a damp cold cloth so as not to shut down. Out of mercy Mummy shark gifted me a new laptop for Christmas last year.

At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat who wants everything, maybe she should have done the same for my birthday last week, only this time she would be upgrading my phone.  It hasn’t been five years but I’m not lucky with phones. I’ve had my current Nokia for just over one year. I think when I redeem my Bonga points at Safaricom I get the half smartphones that seem to malfunction frequently. Or maybe I am the one who misuses them and they get spoilt.

If ever there was a record for unread emails and WhatsApp messages, I’d be in contention. Either I’m involved in a myriad of things or I’m simply inefficient in how I manage my time and commitments. Last week I accidentally left one of my WhatsApp groups. Later, I was happy to have left because it’s a busy group. Messages accumulate so fast that every time I check my phone I see typing… One would be forgiven for thinking Typing is their status.

I’m sure there are folks here who struggle with my dilemma too. Ama it’s an age thing? We have to find a way of coping with it. The downside of too much information is that the valuable bits are buried in the growing heap of endless messages and forwards.

Recently I had some free time and decided to scroll over the several groups I’m part of. Something caught my eye in one of the chats in a group that’s for guys in my church going through halftime. It was the heading of the article link by Lolly Daskal. It read 11 powerful ways anyone can turn their life around – at any age. I obviously noticed it because I’ve been trying to not just turn my life around but create a new life full of purpose and significance.

I believe most of you are trying to do the same so I have decided to share these steps in a four-part series (hope that doesn’t sound like a criminal case being reported kwa gazeti hehe) and add my journey experience for context. Please feel free to add your comments after each post. I love how Daskal says, “Even people in the final months and years of their lives started in new directions. Who knows how far any of us will get down the path, anyway?”

The first powerful thought is; the present is what matters. I have struggled over the last few years to be present. It’s much easier said than done. Many of us live either in the past focusing on regrets and past victories or worrying about what the future will be like. Very few of us live in the present yet it’s the most fulfilling place to be. In fact, being present is real living in my opinion, the rest is fake living. I wish I’d give an instant remedy for getting into a constant state of being present but it’s been a long, hard journey getting near Present Avenue. That tells you I’m not there yet. If the little reward and satisfaction I’ve experienced by doing life in the present is anything to go by, then it’s a place I don’t want to vacate. Relational rewards are much higher when people feel I’m fully present and paying attention to them as we interact. I, in turn, get the same value from them and their willingness to help me increases greatly. So let’s practice being present folks, especially now in our 40s where good banter means a lot.

Secondly, everything changes. Change is the only constant as we have often heard. Allow me to add that in our 40s change is the only companion most of the time. That’s been my experience. Just when I thought I’d figured out my next big thing some random happening confirms I was wrong. A lady once asked her counselor during a session, “When will this struggle end?” The counselor gave a classic response, “When it doesn’t matter.” That means we should embrace and accept change when it comes.

Let’s be flexible enough to change continuously but ensure the change is moving us closer to our purpose. I still marvel at the fact that I’m now a writer (this being my first article to start my third year as a blogger – proud moment hapo). Most of the writing I have done in my life has not been voluntary. It was for academic reasons and when borrowing money. Here I am now doing it and more importantly loving it. I wonder what surprise is round the bend.

Thirdly we all get derailed.  I’m sure most of you will agree with me that the most inspiring stories and lessons are of times when we had to bounce back after going through a huge setback. I once read a status on a pal’s profile that made a lot of sense. It said, “Everyone is going through something you know nothing about, so be kind.” One of the best things about being 40 is that we get more comfortable in our skins and shed the images that we worked so hard to mask our appearance. If we accept that stuff happens for our good even when we can’t understand it at the moment, then we deal with derailments more positively. I have often thanked God for unanswered prayers. We are all trying to do this thing called life the best way we know how so let’s not be too hard on ourselves and accept derailments. The wrong turning you take off the highway might just be the shortcut to your destination.

Chew on that for now folks. Looking forward to your thoughts.